Cinema Assembled or: Why I Saw The Avengers Four Times In One Week - Written By Zach Frances

Four. That's the amount of times I saw The Avengers in a single week and I wasn't alone. 2012's The Avengers redefined the summer blockbuster. It was a mega-hit. The Avengers was a meteoric phenomenon. But why was it so successful? Better yet, why are superhero movies in such high demand? Or the question I really want to explore: Why did I see The Avengers four times in one week? I have never done that that with a movie before. What was it about The Avengers that got so many people into the theater and kept them coming back?

I know perfectly well why I saw it two out the four times that I did: I am a world class comic book geek. Captain America, in particular, is a character I've been following since childhood, and although Marvel Comics handles him in some extremely dumbass ways, I would follow Cap anywhere. But why? Well, superhero comics are modern mythology. Where there was once Zeus, Hercules, and Dionysus, there is now Superman, Batman, and The Avengers. The parallels between modern day superheroes and ancient myth are numerous.

One of the most interesting parallels was made popular by comic book historian Michael Uslan:

"The room looked like the Justice League of America secret sanctum, and I’ll never forget the dean looking at me from the end of the table and saying, “So you’re the fellow who wants to teach a course on funny books at my university?” I launched into my thesis and he let me talk for two or three minutes before cutting me off. “Come on, Michael! Comic books as mythology and folklore? Art? And literature? Give me a break! Comic books are cheap entertainment for children – nothing more, nothing less." So I said to him “Can I ask you two questions?” He said, “Ask me anything you’d like.” I said, “Are you familiar with the story of Moses? Can you summarize very briefly the story of Moses?” He looked at me like I was crazy and replied, “Well, I don’t know what game you’re playing here, but I’ll play it with you. The children of Israel were being persecuted, their first born sons were being slain. A Hebrew couple put their infant son in a wicker basket and sent him down the River Nile where he was discovered by an Egyptian family and raised as their own son. When he grew up and learned of his heritage, he became a hero to his people because …” And I said “Stop. That’s great. You said before that you read Superman comics?” “Yeah,” he said, “I always read them as a kid.” I asked, “Do you know the origin of Superman?” and he replied, “The planet Krypton was about to blow up and a scientist and his wife placed their infant son in a little rocket ship and sent him to Earth where he was discovered by the Kents who raised him as their own son. And then when he grew up …” He stopped, stared at me for an eternity, and said, “Mr Uslan, your course is accredited.” I became the first college professor of comic books!"

It is my belief that people need mythology and that people need the world to be mythologized in order to make sense of it. Each and every time I dive into a comic book I am transported to 'a stronger, loving world'... Did you catch that? Tell me what I'm referencing in the comments section and I'll do my best to figure out a prize to give you. But just like how comic books transport me to an incredible and fantastic universe, superhero movies do the same thing.

The Avengers may just be the best entertainment this side of the millennium. But still, why was The Avengers such a colossal success? Of course there is the obvious: Taking a group of superheroes, popular in their own right and fresh off their own titular films, and cramming them into one movie is bound to draw some spectators, but that doesn't explain why those films were so successful in the first place. Let's look at things from a social perspective: The world is in a tough spot and has been for a while. Americans, in particular, are feeling more depressed by the day as they continue to be driven to bedlam by a broken and abhorrent political system. The world is bigger now than ever before. Now more than ever humanity's plight appears all the more frivolous. Now I'm not saying that the world needs a superhero, although I do in my heart of hearts believe that to be the case, I would never disrespect anyone's hardship by implying that what they need is a super-man in a super-suit with super-righteous super-goals inspiring them to pursue super-deeds. What the world needs far more than a superhero is a break. The Avengers gave us a two and a half hour block where we were free to forget about our problems. What I'm saying is that everyone needs to escape from something, I believe that to be part of the human condition. For me The Avengers is far more than easy escapism, the subject material being a great interest of mine, but I recognize that The Avengers supplied me with exactly that: Escapism. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with escapist cinema, in fact I believe that is the way movies ought to be.

As far as the film itself is concerned there is very little that is technically innovative or revolutionary about it and that's perfectly acceptable. It wouldn't have been the kind of experience that is was had it pretended to me anything other than pure fun. A few rotten apples use this to justify why The Avengers failed as a truly great movie, and some even go so far as to say that The Avengers is actually a harmful film that dumbs-down an already disassociated audience with watered-down heroics. I disagree on both fronts and would even add that these naysayers are not only a deluded and miserable lot but that they also fail to understand the most important and consistent tenet of the cinema: Entertainment. Film started off with peepshow pioneers who gave the poor folk of the world ten seconds of joy, and that same basic practice has since expanded and evolved into The Avengers: Cinema Fulfilled. No, The Avengers does not fail in any conceivable way, in fact it is monumentally, monstrously successful in every way it tries to be. The Avengers is much more than a movie, its an experience. The Avengers gave us epic battles, a considerable amount of character development for a film of its type, amazing special effects, a rag-tag team of superhero underdogs, Sam Jackson with an eye patch, and a hot chick with seemingly deadly strands of hair. Those who say they hate the film, I am also convinced, must hate all of these things.

So, no, the movie is not revolutionary in the high-brow sense of the word, but let's be realistic with the current state of the so-called Arthouse: It hasn't actually been revolutionary since the 1970s. The Avengers actually does break new ground in the superhero genre by proving that an interconnected comic book universe can be translated into a cinematic one in a coherent and fluid fashion. What Marvel has done here is unprecedented and of the wholly remarkable variety. Not since Star Wars has a series of films been so beloved and so closely followed by such a loyal and possessive fleet of fans. This is not a film of underlying themes, but it can still be argued that several heady concepts are communicated within the film, but more than anything else it is a film with an unprecedented ability to entertain its viewer. The Avengers has reestablished the summer blockbuster as more than a mere spectacle, but as an important cinematic world event.

Captain America, Thor, The Hulk, and Iron Man are a few of Marvel's best loved characters, several of them are longstanding flagship titles of the comic book company. They are all given the treatment they deserve here so as to make sure that neither the hero nor his fans are treated as second class. It is the same delicate treatment the heroes had received previously in their own films independent of The Avengers. Captain America: The First Avenger remains my favorite of the pre-Avenger films. I found Captain America: The First Avenger to be one of the most warm-hearted and genuinely pleasant movies I had seen in a very long time. I stated earlier how much Cap means to me as a comic book character and I was so glad to see the film communicate some of the reasons why I love him so much. The First Avenger was a gift I was proud to call my own. I found it to be the definition of pure and innocent cinema. It reminded me of the Indiana Jones series, and other films of that nature, just as the comics do. The First Avenger has an unprecedented rewatchability factor. It is fairly faithful and spiritually intact. It is a glorious and heart warming film. I found this movie version of Cap to be almost just as inspiring as his comic book origins, and although it is a playful film, its not afraid to get intensely intimate and shamelessly patriotic. Yeah. The First Avenger actually makes me feel patriotic, I think that may be one of the reasons I love the Cap so much in the first place. The film romanticizes many things that don't seem to exist anymore, patriotism is one of those things, so's honor, sacrifice, bravery, and devotion. Also I must add that I found Hugo Weaving's turn as The Red Skull, my absolute favorite comic book villain of all time, to be an inspired one. I thought that he gave the best performance of the series. But everything about The First Avenger is pitch-perfect and refreshing, most of all it brings a smile to my face and makes me feel good, and that's something only the best movies can do.

Kenneth Branagh was not an obvious choice when it came to hiring a director who was capable of bringing Marvel's Mighty Thor to life but he sure turned in a wonderful effort. Thor was a very good film and must have been much more difficult to pull off compared to the rest of The Avengers team who were either completely grounded in reality or were at least acquainted with it. Thor was absolute fantasy and Thor was an absolute triumph.

The Incredible Hulk was the weakest link of the series. Edward Norton proved to have been a misguided choice for the tortured Bruce Banner and the rest of the cast seemed totally uninterested in what they were doing. Still. One runt does little to spoil the litter.

2008's Iron Man was the film that allowed all of this to take place. Being the flagship title of Marvel's cinematic universe an entire generation sought refuge in the company of Tony Stark. Iron Man caught on with an audience in a way that only Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, and Peter Parker had been able to do previously. No comic book character has benefited more from being adapted for film than Iron Man, who had never been as huge a comic book character when compared to the monster success he has become since he has been on film. Never being a massively popular publication to begin with, the character has since received the star treatment from Marvel and his books are quickly becoming better and better. I believe that Actor Robert Downey Jr. and director Jon Favreau are solely responsible for Iron Man's new-found popularity. It is my belief that people actually like Robert Downey Jr. more than they really like Iron Man, but that's debatable. The first Iron Man movie was great, with Jeff Bridges giving a dastardly delicious performance as the villainous Iron Monger, while Iron Man 2 suffered by 'pumping up the volume' and felt much more like a lead-in to The Avengers than a proper continuation of Tony's story. Also, I must include that Scarlett Johansson was god-fucking-awful in Iron Man 2. How she was even tolerable in The Avengers is something I attribute to director Joss Whedon's many talents. I mean, I know she looked good and I know that's what she was there for, but she continues to have the emotional depth and comic book believability of a dead horse.

These films seem to have done the impossible: Tap directly into what makes movie-goers happy and concoct a tried and true formula for it. Yes, these films are formulaic but rarely do they really feel that way. And what's the big deal if The Avengers does follow a formula if its a structure that works? Its not meant to challenge its audience, its out to involve them in the drama. Think about it, its easy to stuff your film with lofty idealism and conceptual labyrinths, but its much harder a task to make your film soulful. And that's something that all of The Avengers films have in common: Heart and Soul. The film is also likable, faithful, and has been unbelievably capable in providing true joy to so many people, young and old, and dare I say inspire them to be that much happier in their own lives. The Avengers equipped its viewer with the necessary tools needed to be wowed. And wow the world it did.

Just as a side-note: Three cheers for Tom Hiddleston who really gave The Avengers everything he had as the villainous Loki. He was not only consistently and believably threatening and wicked, he was charismatic enough to carry the entire conflict of the film on his shoulders. If The Avengers was not supposed to be a film of great performances Tom Hiddleston obviously didn't get the memo. He was extremely good here and I applaud the work he did by making Loki just as iconic as the superhero team that had been assembled to eliminate him. Bravo!

The Avengers is now one of the all-time essentials and it is a film that is very deserving of that title. It was a monster hit because it was given to a world in a social climate that desperately needed something fantastic to happen to them. It was a film that was tailor-made for every single person who paid to see it. Those who refuse it must refuse a lot of spectacular things in their life because the sole goal of The Avengers was to entertain YOU and only YOU. Marvel and Co. personally invited you to take a rest in their world, and to those that took advantage of Marvel's hospitality were handsomely rewarded and fiercely entertained. I wish to thank Marvel for putting so much faith in their books, so much faith in the fans, and so much care in putting out a product of such high quality. Marvel Studios have proved that not only is it great time to be a comic book fan but its a great time to be a movie-goer. I wish more companies were like Marvel for as a fan I have never been treated so kindly. Marvel is a company that is very rare in this world: They care about their fan-base and go out of their way to cater to them every chance they can get. The Avengers is a great movie and I just can't wait for round two!

Until then...

-Z. Frances

Licence Revoked or: Timothy Dalton's Bond - Written By Zach Frances

Franz Sanchez: You could have had everything.

James Bond: Don't you want to know why?

Timothy Dalton's run as James Bond was very short-lived. In this article, I am going to explore why. Dalton starred in two films as Bond, The Living Daylights and Licence To Kill, and subsequently stepped down from the role of 007. The fans never seemed to recognize Dalton as Moore's successor, and to this day, most can't seem to appreciate what he did for the series. Why? The answer is quite simple. Dalton's Bond was relatable, human, and susceptible. James Bond was always an idea, a comic concept, and a fantasy. Dalton's Bond was a human being, all the while he still retained all of the charisma and likability that had carried the character up to that point. But giving Bond a human feel would be Dalton's undoing.

Dalton's Bond was ruled by his emotions, this point is made abundantly clear in Licence To Kill where Bond's emotions lead him to ruin time and time again. The problem most fans have with Licence To Kill are in part some of the reasons why I like it so much. The film was criticized for not feeling like a true Bond picture, but more like a renegade cop movie that would have been quite commonplace in the late eighties. But that brings up a very interesting concept. A renegade by definition is a deserter, someone who rejects lawful or conventional behavior. Before Licence To Kill, Bond had been well-established as a symbol of efficient and heroic militarism, a cog in the machine of a government that was always morally and ethically absolute. Essentially, James Bond was the poster boy for covert militarism at work. In Licence To Kill, Dalton's Bond does the unthinkable when he disobeys a direct order from MI6 and disregards the fact that his licence to kill has been revoked by the very agency that issued it.

Dalton's Bond feels that an injustice has been done, an injustice not recognized by MI6, and promotes himself from secret agent to judge, juror, and executioner. He deserts his government in pursuit of a greater institution. James Bond pursues revenge and receives bloody satisfaction. You see, its one thing to say that Licence To Kill feels more like a renegade cop movie than a Bond picture, but its another to blatantly overlook the implications that becoming a renegade had on a character like James Bond. This is Bond without his gadgets, without back-up, without a lifeline to MI6, and this is Bond without a country. Bond is not fighting for national pride here nor is he risking his life to save the world from nuclear catastrophe. He is out to seek revenge for one lost life. He is emotional, overwrought, and cracks in his facade are clearly visible throughout the film. This time its personal. People don't like it when James Bond gets personal, or at least they weren't too keen to it in 1989.

Bond had always been able to separate himself from his work, something Dalton's Bond could never do. Even in The Living Daylights, everything was personal for Bond. Dalton's Bond was not afraid to allow himself to be emotionally affected, or as most fans and critics saw it, Dalton's Bond was incapable of completing a mission the way a 00 ought to. In fact, Dalton's replacement was one Pierce Brosnan, and Brosnan to me was nothing more than a bland continuation of Roger Moore's interpretation of the character. And in Brosnan's first bond movie, GoldenEye, he explains that his cold resolve is what keeps his alive. What Brosnan's Bond is basically saying here is that a real man has to learn to conceal his emotions rather than express them to anyone in any capacity. He's saying that a true man is not ruled by his emotions, but controls them from ever affecting his work, and he's saying that if a man does not do these things he will die, be rendered obsolete; replaced.  I consider that a direct attack on Dalton's previous run. But that's what fans wanted, if Bond were to be noticeably emotional or damaged then the fans would have to feel things. They wanted their Bond to have less depth than a comic book superhero. They wanted Bond to get the girl, kill the villain, save the world, and to never under any circumstances question his government or his methods.

In Licence To Kill, Dalton's Bond systematically defeats the villain, Franz Sanchez, in a way that could only be described as both obsessive and compulsive. He actually considers Franz Sanchez equally dangerous, and although he gets his little one-liners, he endures far more moments of doubt than most Bond fans are comfortable sharing with him. Dalton's Bond was not a superhero, but Dalton's Bond was revolutionary nonetheless. People like to call him the darker of the Bonds, and that is almost entirely untrue. He was the most human and passionate of them all, and there is absolutely nothing dark about being human and passionate. Bond fans seem to view emotion as heavy or adult. Well, I just think most Bond fans are delusional.

Daniel Craig's Bond seems to be getting far too much credit at the moment, especially in the character development department. If Dalton had been given the opportunity to make another Bond film, I feel as if the character would have developed much faster than he has. Dalton seemed to be pushing the character in an exciting and visceral direction, and Brosnan took the character a step backward. Now it is 2013 and James Bond has officially cried on film. Take a look back at Dalton's Bond, and try to tell me that sort of breakthrough wasn't long overdue.

In closing, I would just like to say how important Dalton's run was to the series. His films remain classics, cult or otherwise, and he is slowly getting recognition for the revolutionary way he handled the character. One of the biggest upsets in the entire Bond universe was the fact that Dalton was axed after only two films. Maybe Licence To Kill illustrated the emotional complexities that the character was capable of twenty years too soon on an audience that were simply not ready for a Bond they could actually touch.

Thanks For Reading!

-Zach Frances

A Review Of Time Bandits - Written By Alan Squier

I watched Time Bandets for the first time. It was okay.

-Alan Squier

A Man's Gotta Do What A Man's Gotta Do - Written By Streeter (Street) Walker

"I really want to watch something funny, that is also a musical, and a great story about super heroes and villains.....what should I do Streeter?"

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED THAT BRO-DIMAGGIO...GET YOUR ASS UP AND CHECK OUT DR. HORRIBLE'S SING ALONG BLOG. THE BEST FUCKING SUPER VILLAIN MUSICAL EVER MADE!!!!!!

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog is the greatest. You know i love villains...and in this story the protagonist is a villain. THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!! Dr. Horrible, a mad scientist, is hell bent on destroying the status quo and becoming a member of the Evil League of Evil (lead by "the Thoroughbred of Sin" Bad Horse" and not have his plans thwarted by his Archnemesis CAPTAIN HAMMER!!! He also spreads the word of his evil and achievements on the internet with his blog. Now the great doctor is a hopeless romantic. Too shy to express his crush on Penny ,the beautiful woman he sees every time he goes to the local laundromat.....She doesn't know he is Dr. Horrible, She only knows his alter ego "Billy". And things get worse when Penny and Captain Hammer become an item.

The characters are amazing and played amazingly.

Neil Patrick Harris is the perfect person to play Dr. Horrible. NPH is an amazing actor, and seems like he'd be a cool guy. It's awesome that a character who wants to destroy the way the world is and tear down the system is such a loveable character. He keeps messing up when he tries to do evil, but maybe his FreezeRay will be the invention that finally works out perfectlyand gets him in the ELE. IT'S A FREEZERAY, IT STOPS TIME!!!!!!NOT AN ICEBEAM...THAT'S ALL JOHNNY SNOW!!!!!!!!! AND JOHNNY SNOW IS A WANNABE BITCH!

CAPTAIN HAMMER IS A DICKHOLE!!!!!!

Nathan Fillion is a great Captain Hammer....SHIT HE COULD PLAY ANY STANDARD SUPER HERO....he looks the part and acts it out very well. And the same way that you fall in love with the villain, you will hate the hero.

Felicia Day plays Penny. The love interest of Dr. Horrible. You quickly realize why he is in love with her. She is beautiful, and sweet, and level headed. She becomes smitten with Captain Hammer after he saves her life...but there seems to be some kind of spark in her heart when she is near Billy.

Simon Helberg plays Dr. Horrible's friend, and member of "The Henchmen's Union". He is MOIST...a horrible villain who has the power to make people wet, because he sweats profusely. MAKING PEOPLE NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER CAN REALLY SLOW DOWN THE PROGRESS OF THEIR DAY!!!!! Some would see him as a minor character, but i think he is really important. He is always encouraging Dr. Horrible and giving him advice. "Smother an old lady".

Even the songs sung by the cowboys who sing letters from Bad Horse are great!

Though the characters and the acting are amazing, that isn't want makes the story of Dr. Horrible great. "what does Streeter? the costumes or the lighting?" NO MOTHERFUCKER, SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK!!!!!!!!!! The best thing about Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, is the music. I have seen this so many times, and trust me i do sing along. The songs are not only beautifully written, and have great scores, They tell the story so well and are filled with emotion. Some musicals have one or two songs that either suck or could be done without...NOT THIS ONE SUCKER BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S ON NETFLIX!!!

This musical will make you feel so much. Care, Jealousy, Anger, Love, and a since of Satisfaction with a hint of Heartache.

Now most of the time i write blogs, and don't give a shit if you've seen the movies or not. But i hope there were no spoilers in here. Watch it though....DR. HORRIBLE'S SING ALONG BLOG!!!

Also, there are rumors of a sequel...i hope there is so much. Not sure though, cause one website says there is, another says there isn't. So i have no idea......DR. HORRIBLE 2 WOULD BE AWESOME THOUGH.

Thanks for reading,
Streeter Walker

To Catch A Thunderball or: Fiona's Apple - Written By Zach Frances

Fiona Volpe: Do you like wild things, Mr. Bond, James Bond?

James Bond: Wild? You should be locked in a cage.

Fiona Volpe: This bed feels like a cage. All these bars. Do you think I'll be safe?

Sean Connery's fourth outing as James Bond is also one of his very best. It is called Thunderball, and there is a very surprising theme underlying the film: prisons and prisoners. It may be the most complex Bond movie ever made.

The first time Bond sees the word 'Thunderball' it is stamped on the cover of a top secret folder, its contents confined by both confidentiality and sealed by tape. He is told to examine the documents contained within the Thunderball folder after hearing that his government is being forced to pay a large ransom to protect its citizens from nuclear catastrophe. Therefore his Government has been turned into a prison of SPECTRE, its citizens turned prisoners. There is also the matter of the missing plane that had carried the atomic bombs, its missing. Where does Bond find it? Confined underwater in a shark cage.

"Vanity has its dangers."

Several characters perpetuate the theme of prisons and prisoners further, but none so much as femme fatale Fiona Volpe. She completely fascinates me. Possibly my favorite Bond girl of them all, Fiona Volpe was portrayed by Luciana Paluzzi in the film with deadly precision. She is an agent of SPECTRE and an absolute scene-stealer. There are many fascinating things about Fiona, but first off I would like to talk about her appearance. She is a very desirable woman, sometimes she is too beautiful for words, and evil is one of her most attractive qualities. This makes the viewer a prisoner of his own attraction to danger and evil, but that's far too simple a statement to make when dealing with a Bond film. Her villainy highlighted by her physical beauty reveals deadly desire's true colors: passionate and "wild". Bond's relationship with Domino, the true Bond girl of the film, is of the traditional variety, meaning hollow and acceptable. Bond and Fiona, on the other hand, pursue a short but passionate and revealing affair. This proposes the concept that being evil is more emotionally rewarding than being good. Or at least a more passionate alternative to it. Her appearance perpetuates this concept further, since she is a very beautiful woman, much more so than Domino, one can assume that evil is more beautiful than good. While Emilio Largo has Domino followed constantly so as there is nothing to damage her innocence, Fiona is independent as well as damaged, and about as far from innocent as you can get. Bond's desire leads him to Fiona, but its his mission that makes Domino the necessary companion. Then again it is Fiona's mission that leads her to Bond, but you must understand, her mission was her desire. When men think with their hearts, evil's sway is well in reach, but when they think of their duty, rewards for this obedience will come with practicality.

In fact one of the major gripes Bond had with Fiona was the fact that she wasn't affected emotionally by sleeping with him. Perhaps even the fact that Bond was seduced instead of the other way around. Both characters are prisoners of sex and duty. The only time the two of them actually participate in romantic affairs is when the mission calls for or allows it to take place. Fiona tells Bond that the bed they are making love in feels like a cage after Bond tells her she belongs in one. In this situation, the mission is the prison, and Fiona and Bond's allegiance to their organizations is something they both know will prevent them from ever seeking true comfort in the arms of another. Fiona and Bond mix sex with violence so much I'd be surprised if either one can tell the difference between the two. Maybe there's no difference at all.

Fiona expresses how wild she feels, while earlier Bond expressed to Largo how he is not a man of passion. This contrast should prove an important one while on the topic of sex in Thunderball. Before Bond has his affair with Fiona, we see him engage in intercourse with a physiotherapist and it is neither passionate nor involving, its borderline bribery and boredom. With Fiona, it was very different, and the difference was made abundantly clear by Bond's actions after Fiona turns on him. Laying with evil made Bond feel something we had never seen before Thunderball, it made him feel passion. The question of whether or not Bond knew Fiona's intentions the whole time is wholly insignificant here because that's not the way Sean Connery played that scene. Sean Connery played a hurt Bond, but only as hurt as James Bond can get. Its a performance of nuance and subtlety, even if he knew in his heart of hearts that Fiona was an agent of SPECTRE, he was enjoying her company rather than absorbing it. He allowed himself to be physically and emotionally probed rather than physically dominate her. And then he learns that wasn't even a possibility. Also, the fact that the ring she wears gave her away is telling of the marital allegiances SPECTRE agents hold. There is absolutely nothing that gives away Bond's affiliation with the British government, but perhaps that's because they don't brand their agents. Interesting that its a ring though, considering the marital implications derived from such an accessory.

Fiona's apple, her passion, gave way to her death.

The death of Fiona Volpe is my all-time favorite death in any Bond film. The set-up is deliriously exciting and the whole scene washes over you in masterstrokes of editing. Its also my favorite death in any Bond film because of the underlying ideas that accompany it. She dies performing a passionate activity, dancing. A gunman has Bond in the cross hairs, Fiona knows this and Bond knows this. The gunman fires, and Bond swings Fiona around in order for her to catch the bullet. The bullet enters her spine, presumably lodging itself in her heart. Bond covers the bullet's entry-point with his hand and briefly continues to dance. This is a perfect visual metaphor for passion in the modern industrial age. Man can have his passions just as man can play with fire. But when duty calls, it is man's responsibility to heed it. Man must cover up his passions in order to fulfill his obligations to society. Man does not necessarily need to be devoid of emotion, but he cannot be ruled by it. Fiona had to die in order for Bond's world to continue unaffected by her cold resolve. Much like how Fiona's loyalty had not been swayed by sleeping with Bond and sharing one of the most private things you can share with a person, Bond was wholly unscathed by watching her die. Sex and dying are two very personal things, and they are things Fiona, a self-described wild woman, shared with 007, a self-described man of little passion.

Allow me to praise Luciana Paluzzi for a moment because I thought she was just extraordinary. Her physical beauty alone communicated the passion, honor, and maleficence the dialog likes to take credit for. The dialog did not communicate those feelings, it inherited them. Paluzzi communicates feelings that are not in the script, and her character feels the most alive out of all of them. She really did steal the show here, and like Mercutio and Moritz before her, her character was the crux of the production, regardless of her lifeline. She personified beauty and evil, and how the two can't inhabit the same body without warring with each other or causing some sort of self-fulfilling doom. One of the better performances by an Actress in a Bond film. Whether you agree or disagree, you do remember Fiona Volpe. A superb villain, very underrated, but incredibly iconic.

If I could just touch upon the similarities with James Bond and Emilio Largo for just moment, and say that like most of his other villains, they share several likenesses. Only in Thunderball the similarites are more evident, seeing how Largo is SPECTRE's Number Two, and, arguably, Bond is the British Intelligence Agency's go-to man. Neither man seems to trust their women, and neither of them should. They share an affectation for duty and honor, and an unbreakable bond with the organizations that have fostered them. It might also be worth pointing out that Largo defeated Bond in combat, and Bond's life was saved by Domino, a woman Largo once trusted. I find it interesting that Largo physically defeated Bond, almost as if his allegiances to duty were of the passionate kind, whereas Bond seems to go through the motions in a textbook style more than define them heroically, altruistically, or passionately.

There is so much more I can talk about concerning Thunderball, but I feel that this article has gone on long enough. This is one of my favorite Bond films, and I think technically speaking, it may be the best of the Connery era. A lot of people seem to gloss over the characters in Thunderball and I enjoyed taking this time to single out a few interesting points about them. Like I said in my Dr. No article, a lot of people fail to consider Bond's underlying themes, but if you do the films become much more interesting. Thunderball is high up there on my list of favorites and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Thanks for reading!

-Zach Frances

Thermal Vision And Invisibility - Written By Streeter (Street) Walker

In 1985 a little joke was told. This joke was that Rocky Balboa (Silvester Stallone) had beaten so many earthly opponents that he would have to fight an alien in Rocky 5. Jim and John Thomas thought this was a great concept for a movie...but who better than Rocky Balboa? How about Conan the Barbarian himself ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER? BRILLIANT FUCKING IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Manliest High-Five Ever

Now originally it was just going to be Arnold or his movie name DUTCH fighting in a jungle against an alien...Schwarzenegger didn't like this idea. So they added a team of commandos to fight along his side.

AND HOW ABOUT THE BEST TEAM OF COMMANDOS YOU COULD ASK FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!

SCHWARZENEGGER (DUTCH): Typical Action Hero, Smart when it comes to surviving, great with any weapons, and not afraid to let loose with the wize cracks (STICK AROUND)

CARL WEATHERS (DILLON): A BADASS, but he's lost his knack for the commando lifestyle. Now he's completely controlled by his office job. A puppet of "The Man" he will put his whole team in jeopardy just to do what he's told. "You're an asset. An expendable asset. And I used you to get the job done, got it?"

Bill Duke (Mac): Crazy eyes, and a quiet demeanor....sometimes. Willing to take you out if it means you will get him and his men killed "You're ghostin' us, motherfucker. I don't care who you are back in the world, you give away our position one more time, I'll bleed ya, real quiet. Leave ya here. Got that?"

Jesse "The Body" Ventura (Blain): IT'S JESSE THE FUCKING BODY VENTURA WITH A GOD DAMN GATLIN GUN!!!!!!!!!!!! "I AINT GOT TIME TO BLEED"

Sonny Landham (Billy): Awesome Indian tracker. He knows of the Predator's presence before anyone else. He senses him with his unique tracking abilities. Maybe that's whats got Billy so spooked. "There's something out there waiting for us, and it ain't no man. We're all gonna die."

and last but not least Richard Chaves (Poncho): Very useful to the group. Shit they are in South America and he seems to be the only one who knows a lick of Spanish. Kind of a smart ass, and like the others doesn't appreciate Dillon's lying ass being there. "Maybe you better put her on a leash, Agent-man."

FACE IT, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE FIGHTING AGAINST ANY OF THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!

Now we need a lady, cause every movie has atleast one. Except for maybe 28 Dicks Later. That's a reimagining of the famous outbreak flick...but the outbreak is butt stuff. So we get Elpidia Carrillo, She's perfect for this movie. She is pretty, and a damsel in distress. But she isn't so hot that she distracts you from the Badassary that is PREDATOR.

Enough about the good guys. YOU GUYS KNOW I FUCKING LOVE A VILLAIN. PREDATOR IS ONE OF THE BEST VILLAINS EVER. He doesn't kill for vengeance, or anger, or money, and he's not like the joker, wanting to see the world burn....HE DOES IT FOR SPORT. BECAUSE IT'S FUN!!!

And let's look at that fucking tech he has. Sure they have big knives, gatling guns, shotguns, rifles, and machine guns.....HOW ABOUT A FUCKING PLASMA CANNON WITH SIGHTS THAT LOCK ON. wanna get close and personal? BLADES SHARPER THAN THE DEVILS DICK LOCATED ON HIS WRIST SKINNING MOTHERFUCKERS AND HANGING THEM FROM TREES AND SHIT. and it's hard to shoot what you can't see. MOTHER FUCKER HAS A CLOAKING DEVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and while you can't see him, be sure as shit he can see you. THERMAL VISION BITCH!!!!!!



Now enough of the cast, and this will be over soon i promise. The movie starts out, with a group of badasses set up by a government that doesn't give a shit about them. honestly, if it were just a movie about special ops soldiers sent to get some pow's and finding out they were sent to get some info to cover up some bullshit, it would be a good movie. BUT THEN IT TURNS INTO A FACEFUCK OF ACTION AND CRAZINESS AS EACH ONE OF THEM IS SLOWLY PICKED OFF ONE AT A TIME BY THIS UNSTOPPABLE CREATURE.........................HOLY FUCK I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!

Now is the showdown. We know it's coming. and it's finally here. Commando vs Alien. My favorite thing about this movie is that Dutch turns Predator's strengths against him. Realizing that the creature sees with thermal vision he cleverly covers himself in mud. Setting up traps to surprise the one who has been sneaking this whole time. There is a metamorphisis from Prey to Predator, and Predator to Prey. In a way, the Title is just as much about the alien as it is about Schwarzenegger. Near the end, under the moonlight, Dutch even looks similar to the Predator. It's the transition that i think makes the movie so compelling. He doesn't win with a lucky shot, he doesn't win with brut strength, he wins because he is the better hunter. PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

The last thing i love about PREDATOR, is that it shows how much of a pussy Jean Claude Van Damme is. "He's not in that movie Streeter!!!" I KNOW ASS CLOWN!!!!!!! GIVE ME ONE MORE MINUTE TO MAKE MY POINT!!!.

Pussy.

So originally the Predator was supposed to be played by Van Damme (OVERRATED ASSHOLE IF YOU ASK ME......KICKBOXER AND BLOODSPORT WERE THE SHIT THOUGH) It was a great comparison. Skill and Agility VS. Brute Strength. which i think would have been awesome. But i like the the predator was a BRICK FUCKING SHIT HOUSE. Anyway, Van Damme complained constantly that he didn't get any screen time "Nobody will see my face BOO HOO" and face it, compared to the likes of Ventura, Weathers, and Schwarzenegger...Van Damme's body type isn't really scary. Also Jone Claudia Van Dick complained that the "suit is too hot" and he kept passing out. I'M SORRY BUT IF THAT LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER CAN'T TAKE IT, THAN HOW THE FUCK DID SOMEONE 3 TIMES HIS SIZE HANDLE IT? Cause Jean Claude Van Damme is a Pussy and Kevin Peter Hall isn't. MOTHER FUCKER WAS HARRY, FROM HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS. AND THAT MOVIE IS THE BEES KNEES



Thank you for reading.
Streeter Walker

Batman On Film: The Animated Series (1992-1995) - Written By Zach Frances

Batman The Animated Series: Volume One

Forget about the movies. The best film representation of the Caped Crusader is, and will always be, The Animated Series that ran from 1992 up until 1995. This show is stellar, and it not only revolutionized Saturday morning cartoons, but it redefined Batman for a new generation.

Volume One contains some of the best Bat-Stories ever spun. The best telling of Two Face's origin can be found here in a mind blowing two part episode. Neither origins for the character told by Loeb nor Nolan, respectively, can compare to the one that is found here.

The legendary Heart Of Ice can be found here as well. This is a very important episode and marks a very significant moment in Batman's history. One of his less beloved villains became an overnight fan favorite. He went from unsympathetic to incredibly heartbreaking. This character was Mr. Freeze. The episode actually went on to not only land the show its very first Emmy award, but it also affected the comic book universe. Many writers adopted the new Freeze origin that Heart Of Ice proposed.

But Heart Of Ice wasn't the last time that the Animated Series would alter and inspire the comic book universe. In one of the best episodes from Volume One, an episode called Joker's Favor, another important event would take place. Although she had but a handful of lines, Harley Quinn made her first appearance. She would go on to not only change the comic book universe but become a long-lasting part of pop culture. An inspired creation on behalf of Paul Dini, a sensation was born.

My favorite episode contained within the first volume may seem slightly controversial to some, but Mad As A Hatter is an exceptional show. Mad As A Hatter tells the story of Jervis Tetch, the man who will become the Mad Hatter. I thought this episode was so well-done, I have watched it several times. It is a true joy to see the Mad Hatter handled with such care. The best Mad Hatter story ever told, and it will make you a believer of him. A loving portrait of a madman. The show was very good at redeeming lesser liked and lesser known villains. They had already done so with Mr. Freeze by the time they would make the Mad Hatter a legitimate psychopathic threat. They would do it again with Scarface and the Ventriloquist, but I'm getting ahead of myself now.

If you're thinking about buying the first volume, do so immediately. It just might change your life.

Batman The Animated Series: Volume Two

God! Where do I even start?! The second volume is a triumph! Its superhero storytelling at its best, and absolutely essential for all Batfans young and old!

Heck, the episode called 'The Laughing Fish' is worth the money alone! Hands down the best episode of the Batman Animated Series, and honestly, one of my favorite Batman stories ever told in any medium. Whenever I get the chance to turn someone new on to this wonderful series, 'The Laughing Fish' is always the episode I pick out, and I have never had anyone tell me they were disappointed in the program I had selected. 'The Laughing Fish' is a phenomenal, stylish, disturbing, and cartoonish tour de force of superhero entertainment.

But that's not all, folks! Almost every single episode is fantastic! Sure, its got its clunkers, 'Moon Of The Wolf' and 'Cat Scratch Fever' for example are God awful, but it also includes some of the best work to ever come out of the animated series.

Along with the incredible Laughing Episode episode, volume two also boasts the Emmy Award winning two-parter 'Robin's Reckoning'. A very earnest and touching episode where the Boy Wonder's origin is completely explored, and I remember it being one of my favorites as a child. It hasn't lost its touch, the episode struck a chord with me. The darn thing works!

There is another fantastic two-parter included here and it is called 'Heart Of Steel', and it is a fan favorite. A wonderful Sci-Fi Batman story that remains one of the most exciting episodes of the Animated Series.

A few other stand-outs in volume two are the Riddler Episodes, and a Penguin episode titled 'Birds Of A Weather'. Paul Williams of Phantom Of The Paradise fame returns to give voice to the most sympathetic rendition of the beloved super villain. Penguin's best episode in the series and, most likely, the best Penguin tale there is in any medium.

As a kid I really enjoyed the two episodes featuring a villain called Kyodai Ken, a master Ninja Assassin from Bruce Wayne's past. The better of the two, an episode called 'Day Of The Samurai' is still one of my favorite episodes in the show's run. I loved the character of Kyodai Ken, and although I wish Bruce Timm and Co. did more with the character, I respect the fact that he never became old, tiresome, or non-threatening. Great character.

'Almost Got 'Im' is a Paul Dini classic, and another fan favorite. I was also quite partial to 'Perchance To Dream', it was a very bizarre and well done episode, almost like Batman does the Twilight Zone. I loved it. I think I might watch it again tonight actually, as it is a very absorbing story, and I enjoy the way they tell it.

The second volume is, in my opinion, the very best of the Animated Series. Volume One was pretty good too, and Volume Three (with the exception of a few episodes) was a rather week set. Volume Two is Batman The Animated Series at the top of its game, at full stride, and it just never lets up. The special features are short but sweet, and the commentary tracks are both informative and funny as usual. Buy the discs for the shows. I'm so happy I did, they helped to renew a love for Batman I hadn't felt so intensely since I was a kid. And as you grow up, anything that makes you feel twenty years younger is a good thing. And this, this is a good thing.

Batman The Animated Series Volume Three

Truth be told, this is where things start to go sour. There are quite a few undesirables here. But let's focus on the good stuff. And Ra's Al Ghul is always good stuff. There are are a handful of episodes that feature this legendary villain, and the rendering the Animated Series gave the Demon's Head remains the most faithful to the source material. The two-part episode called The Demon's Quest is lifted straight from Denny O'Niel's original writing. A glorious representation of one of Batman's deadliest foes.

Volume Three showcases another new villain to the Animated Series. The villain's name is Bane and the episode is named after him. I have to be somewhat harsh on this particular episode, only because Bane is my absolute favorite Batman Villain. I have always loved him, and while the Animated Series does some good things with his character, they also make an abundance of bad decisions that would later be continued by the notorious disaster that calls itself 1997's Batman & Robin. Yes, the Animated Series is partly to blame for how Bane was presented in Joel Shitmaker's franchise killing toy commercial. As a matter of fact, Joel Shitmaker lifted several ideas from the Animated Series, and used them to systematically bring the Batman down to the level of the Smurfs.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Volume Three has a phenomenal Poison Ivy episode. It is called House And Garden and its freakier than the freakiest twist on The Twilight Zone. Seriously, this shit is disturbed! God, I love it! I don't want to spoil anything for any of you who haven't seen this particular episode, but be warned: this one will make your skin crawl and you brain bleed. It really is that peculiar! Its another great episode written by Paul Dini. Poison Ivy at her very best!

Read My Lips is a FANTASTIC one! Scarface and The Ventriloquist seek retribution, and they receive bloody satisfaction. Honestly, a better Scarface story doesn't exist! What this show managed to do with second and third tier villains is extraordinary. They breathed new life into these damaged goods and brought them to the foreground with a vengeance. Seriously, who the hell even knew who the Clock King was before the Animated Series came around? Anyone? Didn't think so. Temple Fugate is now a name I will never forget.

All in all the Animated Series was the best thing to ever happen to a superhero. Glad it was Batman. Superman was given his own animated series as well soon after, and it was handled by the same creative forces behind Batman TAS. Superman The Animated Series is another wonderful television show I plan to explore with you in the near future. Actually, thus far, Superman TAS is the one good film representation of the character.

In closing, THANK GOD FOR BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES! My childhood would have been a nightmare without it!

Kurt Russell: Man, Myth, Legend. - Written By Streeter (Street) Walker

Is Kurt Russell a good actor? is he a great actor? If you ask me KURT RUSSELL IS THE GREATEST AMERICAN ACTOR OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! "But why Streeter?" WELL SIT YOUR ASS RIGHT DOWN AND POP YOUR LOOKIN' BALLS TOWARDS THE SCREEN AND I WILL TELL YOU.....oh i will feed ya baby bird.

Kurt Russell has starred and acted in some Awesome movies. Big Trouble In Little China (GO FUCK YOURSELF IF YOU DISAGREE)Back Draft, The Thing, Death Proof,Escape From New York, Escape From L.A., The Fox and the Motherfucking Hound, Stargate, Tombstone,3000 Miles to Graceland,Dark Blue,Miracle, and the best buddy action movie ever made TANGO AND CASH!!! Stuntman Mike, Copper (the hound), Herb Brooks,Eldon Perry, Bull McCaffrey ,Snake Plissken, Jack Burton, Col. Oneal, Gabriel Cash, Wyatt Erp, RJ McGready.....ALL AWESOME CHARACTERS PLAYED BY AN AWESOME MAN.

Now is Kurt Russell awesome because of these movies? or are these movies awesome because of Kurt Russell....the world may never know. What we do know is that Jack Burton is probably the most badass character in any movie ever made, as shown in the poll that i just made up where 70% of movie watchers voted for him. Up next was Snake Plissken ALSO PLAYED BY KURT RUSSELL!!!!! NUMBERS, THEY DON'T LIE.

"But anyone could have played Jack Burton" BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!

The only person who could pull that, and the rest of his characters off, is Kurt (whole lotta awesome) Russell.

If that list of awesomeness doesn't convince you, how about a list of movies he did that weren't so good. Captain Ron (Wait that movie is fun and enjoyable, and Kurt Russell is awesome in it) Overboard ( nvm, that movie is hysterical and is sweet as shit) Poseidon (sure it's a remake, BUT IT'S PRETTY DAMN AWESOME) So shit, you can't name a BAD Kurt Russell Movie. You can just name some of his movies that aren't as good as other movies of his.

Let's take a look at the Man. Kurt Russell is the epitome of endurance. Motherfucker got his first acting gig at the age of 10 in a little movie called "It Happened at the World's Fair". "But who did he play Street? Kid who drops ice cream cone, Bully, Child riding bike?" NO YOU NEGATIVE FUCK, HE PLAYED THE KING HIMSELF ELVIS PRESLEY!!!!!! Now after this he kept acting through the sixties, working for a little company called DISNEY. Then he takes a step back from acting, to play the most American sport out there......BASEBALL!!!!!

1979 Rolls around, a 29 year old Kurt jumps on screen for a tv movie. A movie directed by the one and only John Carpenter!!!(you know the guy who made Halloween, Big Trouble in Little China, They Live, Vampires, AND ABOUT A THOUSAND OTHER MOVIES THAT ARE SO GOOD YOUR EYES WOULD BUY YOU A STEAK DINNER IF THEY COULD AFTER WATCHING ONE." So Kurt stars in this movie, and who does he play? THE KING again, in the movie ELVIS: THE MOVIE.

Then he does Used Cars, Escape from New York, The Thing...(YOU KNOW AWESOME FLICKS) Then in 1984, gets with the super sexy , Sock it to me girl, herself GOLDIE HAWN and they are still together. That's 28 years of being with the same person, not many people can do that. Then that awesome motherfucker starred in some more awesome movies, and he wrote Escape from L.A....remember Snake Plisken...you should i mentioned him like 5 minutes ago. A character that is not only immortal in cinema but also in the video game universe, METAL GEAR SOLID LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

So my point is, Kurt Russell is an amazing actor, he is a caring person, he has been going strong acting for 53 years, and he is a badass....but more importantly i look up to him for sticking with something he loves for so long, and not giving up. GOD DAMN KURT RUSSELL IS THE SHIT!!!!!!

Thank you for reading,
Streeter Walker