Cinema Assembled or: Why I Saw The Avengers Four Times In One Week - Written By Zach Frances

Four. That's the amount of times I saw The Avengers in a single week and I wasn't alone. 2012's The Avengers redefined the summer blockbuster. It was a mega-hit. The Avengers was a meteoric phenomenon. But why was it so successful? Better yet, why are superhero movies in such high demand? Or the question I really want to explore: Why did I see The Avengers four times in one week? I have never done that that with a movie before. What was it about The Avengers that got so many people into the theater and kept them coming back?

I know perfectly well why I saw it two out the four times that I did: I am a world class comic book geek. Captain America, in particular, is a character I've been following since childhood, and although Marvel Comics handles him in some extremely dumbass ways, I would follow Cap anywhere. But why? Well, superhero comics are modern mythology. Where there was once Zeus, Hercules, and Dionysus, there is now Superman, Batman, and The Avengers. The parallels between modern day superheroes and ancient myth are numerous.

One of the most interesting parallels was made popular by comic book historian Michael Uslan:

"The room looked like the Justice League of America secret sanctum, and I’ll never forget the dean looking at me from the end of the table and saying, “So you’re the fellow who wants to teach a course on funny books at my university?” I launched into my thesis and he let me talk for two or three minutes before cutting me off. “Come on, Michael! Comic books as mythology and folklore? Art? And literature? Give me a break! Comic books are cheap entertainment for children – nothing more, nothing less." So I said to him “Can I ask you two questions?” He said, “Ask me anything you’d like.” I said, “Are you familiar with the story of Moses? Can you summarize very briefly the story of Moses?” He looked at me like I was crazy and replied, “Well, I don’t know what game you’re playing here, but I’ll play it with you. The children of Israel were being persecuted, their first born sons were being slain. A Hebrew couple put their infant son in a wicker basket and sent him down the River Nile where he was discovered by an Egyptian family and raised as their own son. When he grew up and learned of his heritage, he became a hero to his people because …” And I said “Stop. That’s great. You said before that you read Superman comics?” “Yeah,” he said, “I always read them as a kid.” I asked, “Do you know the origin of Superman?” and he replied, “The planet Krypton was about to blow up and a scientist and his wife placed their infant son in a little rocket ship and sent him to Earth where he was discovered by the Kents who raised him as their own son. And then when he grew up …” He stopped, stared at me for an eternity, and said, “Mr Uslan, your course is accredited.” I became the first college professor of comic books!"

It is my belief that people need mythology and that people need the world to be mythologized in order to make sense of it. Each and every time I dive into a comic book I am transported to 'a stronger, loving world'... Did you catch that? Tell me what I'm referencing in the comments section and I'll do my best to figure out a prize to give you. But just like how comic books transport me to an incredible and fantastic universe, superhero movies do the same thing.

The Avengers may just be the best entertainment this side of the millennium. But still, why was The Avengers such a colossal success? Of course there is the obvious: Taking a group of superheroes, popular in their own right and fresh off their own titular films, and cramming them into one movie is bound to draw some spectators, but that doesn't explain why those films were so successful in the first place. Let's look at things from a social perspective: The world is in a tough spot and has been for a while. Americans, in particular, are feeling more depressed by the day as they continue to be driven to bedlam by a broken and abhorrent political system. The world is bigger now than ever before. Now more than ever humanity's plight appears all the more frivolous. Now I'm not saying that the world needs a superhero, although I do in my heart of hearts believe that to be the case, I would never disrespect anyone's hardship by implying that what they need is a super-man in a super-suit with super-righteous super-goals inspiring them to pursue super-deeds. What the world needs far more than a superhero is a break. The Avengers gave us a two and a half hour block where we were free to forget about our problems. What I'm saying is that everyone needs to escape from something, I believe that to be part of the human condition. For me The Avengers is far more than easy escapism, the subject material being a great interest of mine, but I recognize that The Avengers supplied me with exactly that: Escapism. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with escapist cinema, in fact I believe that is the way movies ought to be.

As far as the film itself is concerned there is very little that is technically innovative or revolutionary about it and that's perfectly acceptable. It wouldn't have been the kind of experience that is was had it pretended to me anything other than pure fun. A few rotten apples use this to justify why The Avengers failed as a truly great movie, and some even go so far as to say that The Avengers is actually a harmful film that dumbs-down an already disassociated audience with watered-down heroics. I disagree on both fronts and would even add that these naysayers are not only a deluded and miserable lot but that they also fail to understand the most important and consistent tenet of the cinema: Entertainment. Film started off with peepshow pioneers who gave the poor folk of the world ten seconds of joy, and that same basic practice has since expanded and evolved into The Avengers: Cinema Fulfilled. No, The Avengers does not fail in any conceivable way, in fact it is monumentally, monstrously successful in every way it tries to be. The Avengers is much more than a movie, its an experience. The Avengers gave us epic battles, a considerable amount of character development for a film of its type, amazing special effects, a rag-tag team of superhero underdogs, Sam Jackson with an eye patch, and a hot chick with seemingly deadly strands of hair. Those who say they hate the film, I am also convinced, must hate all of these things.

So, no, the movie is not revolutionary in the high-brow sense of the word, but let's be realistic with the current state of the so-called Arthouse: It hasn't actually been revolutionary since the 1970s. The Avengers actually does break new ground in the superhero genre by proving that an interconnected comic book universe can be translated into a cinematic one in a coherent and fluid fashion. What Marvel has done here is unprecedented and of the wholly remarkable variety. Not since Star Wars has a series of films been so beloved and so closely followed by such a loyal and possessive fleet of fans. This is not a film of underlying themes, but it can still be argued that several heady concepts are communicated within the film, but more than anything else it is a film with an unprecedented ability to entertain its viewer. The Avengers has reestablished the summer blockbuster as more than a mere spectacle, but as an important cinematic world event.

Captain America, Thor, The Hulk, and Iron Man are a few of Marvel's best loved characters, several of them are longstanding flagship titles of the comic book company. They are all given the treatment they deserve here so as to make sure that neither the hero nor his fans are treated as second class. It is the same delicate treatment the heroes had received previously in their own films independent of The Avengers. Captain America: The First Avenger remains my favorite of the pre-Avenger films. I found Captain America: The First Avenger to be one of the most warm-hearted and genuinely pleasant movies I had seen in a very long time. I stated earlier how much Cap means to me as a comic book character and I was so glad to see the film communicate some of the reasons why I love him so much. The First Avenger was a gift I was proud to call my own. I found it to be the definition of pure and innocent cinema. It reminded me of the Indiana Jones series, and other films of that nature, just as the comics do. The First Avenger has an unprecedented rewatchability factor. It is fairly faithful and spiritually intact. It is a glorious and heart warming film. I found this movie version of Cap to be almost just as inspiring as his comic book origins, and although it is a playful film, its not afraid to get intensely intimate and shamelessly patriotic. Yeah. The First Avenger actually makes me feel patriotic, I think that may be one of the reasons I love the Cap so much in the first place. The film romanticizes many things that don't seem to exist anymore, patriotism is one of those things, so's honor, sacrifice, bravery, and devotion. Also I must add that I found Hugo Weaving's turn as The Red Skull, my absolute favorite comic book villain of all time, to be an inspired one. I thought that he gave the best performance of the series. But everything about The First Avenger is pitch-perfect and refreshing, most of all it brings a smile to my face and makes me feel good, and that's something only the best movies can do.

Kenneth Branagh was not an obvious choice when it came to hiring a director who was capable of bringing Marvel's Mighty Thor to life but he sure turned in a wonderful effort. Thor was a very good film and must have been much more difficult to pull off compared to the rest of The Avengers team who were either completely grounded in reality or were at least acquainted with it. Thor was absolute fantasy and Thor was an absolute triumph.

The Incredible Hulk was the weakest link of the series. Edward Norton proved to have been a misguided choice for the tortured Bruce Banner and the rest of the cast seemed totally uninterested in what they were doing. Still. One runt does little to spoil the litter.

2008's Iron Man was the film that allowed all of this to take place. Being the flagship title of Marvel's cinematic universe an entire generation sought refuge in the company of Tony Stark. Iron Man caught on with an audience in a way that only Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, and Peter Parker had been able to do previously. No comic book character has benefited more from being adapted for film than Iron Man, who had never been as huge a comic book character when compared to the monster success he has become since he has been on film. Never being a massively popular publication to begin with, the character has since received the star treatment from Marvel and his books are quickly becoming better and better. I believe that Actor Robert Downey Jr. and director Jon Favreau are solely responsible for Iron Man's new-found popularity. It is my belief that people actually like Robert Downey Jr. more than they really like Iron Man, but that's debatable. The first Iron Man movie was great, with Jeff Bridges giving a dastardly delicious performance as the villainous Iron Monger, while Iron Man 2 suffered by 'pumping up the volume' and felt much more like a lead-in to The Avengers than a proper continuation of Tony's story. Also, I must include that Scarlett Johansson was god-fucking-awful in Iron Man 2. How she was even tolerable in The Avengers is something I attribute to director Joss Whedon's many talents. I mean, I know she looked good and I know that's what she was there for, but she continues to have the emotional depth and comic book believability of a dead horse.

These films seem to have done the impossible: Tap directly into what makes movie-goers happy and concoct a tried and true formula for it. Yes, these films are formulaic but rarely do they really feel that way. And what's the big deal if The Avengers does follow a formula if its a structure that works? Its not meant to challenge its audience, its out to involve them in the drama. Think about it, its easy to stuff your film with lofty idealism and conceptual labyrinths, but its much harder a task to make your film soulful. And that's something that all of The Avengers films have in common: Heart and Soul. The film is also likable, faithful, and has been unbelievably capable in providing true joy to so many people, young and old, and dare I say inspire them to be that much happier in their own lives. The Avengers equipped its viewer with the necessary tools needed to be wowed. And wow the world it did.

Just as a side-note: Three cheers for Tom Hiddleston who really gave The Avengers everything he had as the villainous Loki. He was not only consistently and believably threatening and wicked, he was charismatic enough to carry the entire conflict of the film on his shoulders. If The Avengers was not supposed to be a film of great performances Tom Hiddleston obviously didn't get the memo. He was extremely good here and I applaud the work he did by making Loki just as iconic as the superhero team that had been assembled to eliminate him. Bravo!

The Avengers is now one of the all-time essentials and it is a film that is very deserving of that title. It was a monster hit because it was given to a world in a social climate that desperately needed something fantastic to happen to them. It was a film that was tailor-made for every single person who paid to see it. Those who refuse it must refuse a lot of spectacular things in their life because the sole goal of The Avengers was to entertain YOU and only YOU. Marvel and Co. personally invited you to take a rest in their world, and to those that took advantage of Marvel's hospitality were handsomely rewarded and fiercely entertained. I wish to thank Marvel for putting so much faith in their books, so much faith in the fans, and so much care in putting out a product of such high quality. Marvel Studios have proved that not only is it great time to be a comic book fan but its a great time to be a movie-goer. I wish more companies were like Marvel for as a fan I have never been treated so kindly. Marvel is a company that is very rare in this world: They care about their fan-base and go out of their way to cater to them every chance they can get. The Avengers is a great movie and I just can't wait for round two!

Until then...

-Z. Frances

A Man's Gotta Do What A Man's Gotta Do - Written By Streeter (Street) Walker

"I really want to watch something funny, that is also a musical, and a great story about super heroes and villains.....what should I do Streeter?"

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED THAT BRO-DIMAGGIO...GET YOUR ASS UP AND CHECK OUT DR. HORRIBLE'S SING ALONG BLOG. THE BEST FUCKING SUPER VILLAIN MUSICAL EVER MADE!!!!!!

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog is the greatest. You know i love villains...and in this story the protagonist is a villain. THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!! Dr. Horrible, a mad scientist, is hell bent on destroying the status quo and becoming a member of the Evil League of Evil (lead by "the Thoroughbred of Sin" Bad Horse" and not have his plans thwarted by his Archnemesis CAPTAIN HAMMER!!! He also spreads the word of his evil and achievements on the internet with his blog. Now the great doctor is a hopeless romantic. Too shy to express his crush on Penny ,the beautiful woman he sees every time he goes to the local laundromat.....She doesn't know he is Dr. Horrible, She only knows his alter ego "Billy". And things get worse when Penny and Captain Hammer become an item.

The characters are amazing and played amazingly.

Neil Patrick Harris is the perfect person to play Dr. Horrible. NPH is an amazing actor, and seems like he'd be a cool guy. It's awesome that a character who wants to destroy the way the world is and tear down the system is such a loveable character. He keeps messing up when he tries to do evil, but maybe his FreezeRay will be the invention that finally works out perfectlyand gets him in the ELE. IT'S A FREEZERAY, IT STOPS TIME!!!!!!NOT AN ICEBEAM...THAT'S ALL JOHNNY SNOW!!!!!!!!! AND JOHNNY SNOW IS A WANNABE BITCH!

CAPTAIN HAMMER IS A DICKHOLE!!!!!!

Nathan Fillion is a great Captain Hammer....SHIT HE COULD PLAY ANY STANDARD SUPER HERO....he looks the part and acts it out very well. And the same way that you fall in love with the villain, you will hate the hero.

Felicia Day plays Penny. The love interest of Dr. Horrible. You quickly realize why he is in love with her. She is beautiful, and sweet, and level headed. She becomes smitten with Captain Hammer after he saves her life...but there seems to be some kind of spark in her heart when she is near Billy.

Simon Helberg plays Dr. Horrible's friend, and member of "The Henchmen's Union". He is MOIST...a horrible villain who has the power to make people wet, because he sweats profusely. MAKING PEOPLE NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER CAN REALLY SLOW DOWN THE PROGRESS OF THEIR DAY!!!!! Some would see him as a minor character, but i think he is really important. He is always encouraging Dr. Horrible and giving him advice. "Smother an old lady".

Even the songs sung by the cowboys who sing letters from Bad Horse are great!

Though the characters and the acting are amazing, that isn't want makes the story of Dr. Horrible great. "what does Streeter? the costumes or the lighting?" NO MOTHERFUCKER, SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK!!!!!!!!!! The best thing about Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, is the music. I have seen this so many times, and trust me i do sing along. The songs are not only beautifully written, and have great scores, They tell the story so well and are filled with emotion. Some musicals have one or two songs that either suck or could be done without...NOT THIS ONE SUCKER BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S ON NETFLIX!!!

This musical will make you feel so much. Care, Jealousy, Anger, Love, and a since of Satisfaction with a hint of Heartache.

Now most of the time i write blogs, and don't give a shit if you've seen the movies or not. But i hope there were no spoilers in here. Watch it though....DR. HORRIBLE'S SING ALONG BLOG!!!

Also, there are rumors of a sequel...i hope there is so much. Not sure though, cause one website says there is, another says there isn't. So i have no idea......DR. HORRIBLE 2 WOULD BE AWESOME THOUGH.

Thanks for reading,
Streeter Walker

Batman On Film: The Animated Series (1992-1995) - Written By Zach Frances

Batman The Animated Series: Volume One

Forget about the movies. The best film representation of the Caped Crusader is, and will always be, The Animated Series that ran from 1992 up until 1995. This show is stellar, and it not only revolutionized Saturday morning cartoons, but it redefined Batman for a new generation.

Volume One contains some of the best Bat-Stories ever spun. The best telling of Two Face's origin can be found here in a mind blowing two part episode. Neither origins for the character told by Loeb nor Nolan, respectively, can compare to the one that is found here.

The legendary Heart Of Ice can be found here as well. This is a very important episode and marks a very significant moment in Batman's history. One of his less beloved villains became an overnight fan favorite. He went from unsympathetic to incredibly heartbreaking. This character was Mr. Freeze. The episode actually went on to not only land the show its very first Emmy award, but it also affected the comic book universe. Many writers adopted the new Freeze origin that Heart Of Ice proposed.

But Heart Of Ice wasn't the last time that the Animated Series would alter and inspire the comic book universe. In one of the best episodes from Volume One, an episode called Joker's Favor, another important event would take place. Although she had but a handful of lines, Harley Quinn made her first appearance. She would go on to not only change the comic book universe but become a long-lasting part of pop culture. An inspired creation on behalf of Paul Dini, a sensation was born.

My favorite episode contained within the first volume may seem slightly controversial to some, but Mad As A Hatter is an exceptional show. Mad As A Hatter tells the story of Jervis Tetch, the man who will become the Mad Hatter. I thought this episode was so well-done, I have watched it several times. It is a true joy to see the Mad Hatter handled with such care. The best Mad Hatter story ever told, and it will make you a believer of him. A loving portrait of a madman. The show was very good at redeeming lesser liked and lesser known villains. They had already done so with Mr. Freeze by the time they would make the Mad Hatter a legitimate psychopathic threat. They would do it again with Scarface and the Ventriloquist, but I'm getting ahead of myself now.

If you're thinking about buying the first volume, do so immediately. It just might change your life.

Batman The Animated Series: Volume Two

God! Where do I even start?! The second volume is a triumph! Its superhero storytelling at its best, and absolutely essential for all Batfans young and old!

Heck, the episode called 'The Laughing Fish' is worth the money alone! Hands down the best episode of the Batman Animated Series, and honestly, one of my favorite Batman stories ever told in any medium. Whenever I get the chance to turn someone new on to this wonderful series, 'The Laughing Fish' is always the episode I pick out, and I have never had anyone tell me they were disappointed in the program I had selected. 'The Laughing Fish' is a phenomenal, stylish, disturbing, and cartoonish tour de force of superhero entertainment.

But that's not all, folks! Almost every single episode is fantastic! Sure, its got its clunkers, 'Moon Of The Wolf' and 'Cat Scratch Fever' for example are God awful, but it also includes some of the best work to ever come out of the animated series.

Along with the incredible Laughing Episode episode, volume two also boasts the Emmy Award winning two-parter 'Robin's Reckoning'. A very earnest and touching episode where the Boy Wonder's origin is completely explored, and I remember it being one of my favorites as a child. It hasn't lost its touch, the episode struck a chord with me. The darn thing works!

There is another fantastic two-parter included here and it is called 'Heart Of Steel', and it is a fan favorite. A wonderful Sci-Fi Batman story that remains one of the most exciting episodes of the Animated Series.

A few other stand-outs in volume two are the Riddler Episodes, and a Penguin episode titled 'Birds Of A Weather'. Paul Williams of Phantom Of The Paradise fame returns to give voice to the most sympathetic rendition of the beloved super villain. Penguin's best episode in the series and, most likely, the best Penguin tale there is in any medium.

As a kid I really enjoyed the two episodes featuring a villain called Kyodai Ken, a master Ninja Assassin from Bruce Wayne's past. The better of the two, an episode called 'Day Of The Samurai' is still one of my favorite episodes in the show's run. I loved the character of Kyodai Ken, and although I wish Bruce Timm and Co. did more with the character, I respect the fact that he never became old, tiresome, or non-threatening. Great character.

'Almost Got 'Im' is a Paul Dini classic, and another fan favorite. I was also quite partial to 'Perchance To Dream', it was a very bizarre and well done episode, almost like Batman does the Twilight Zone. I loved it. I think I might watch it again tonight actually, as it is a very absorbing story, and I enjoy the way they tell it.

The second volume is, in my opinion, the very best of the Animated Series. Volume One was pretty good too, and Volume Three (with the exception of a few episodes) was a rather week set. Volume Two is Batman The Animated Series at the top of its game, at full stride, and it just never lets up. The special features are short but sweet, and the commentary tracks are both informative and funny as usual. Buy the discs for the shows. I'm so happy I did, they helped to renew a love for Batman I hadn't felt so intensely since I was a kid. And as you grow up, anything that makes you feel twenty years younger is a good thing. And this, this is a good thing.

Batman The Animated Series Volume Three

Truth be told, this is where things start to go sour. There are quite a few undesirables here. But let's focus on the good stuff. And Ra's Al Ghul is always good stuff. There are are a handful of episodes that feature this legendary villain, and the rendering the Animated Series gave the Demon's Head remains the most faithful to the source material. The two-part episode called The Demon's Quest is lifted straight from Denny O'Niel's original writing. A glorious representation of one of Batman's deadliest foes.

Volume Three showcases another new villain to the Animated Series. The villain's name is Bane and the episode is named after him. I have to be somewhat harsh on this particular episode, only because Bane is my absolute favorite Batman Villain. I have always loved him, and while the Animated Series does some good things with his character, they also make an abundance of bad decisions that would later be continued by the notorious disaster that calls itself 1997's Batman & Robin. Yes, the Animated Series is partly to blame for how Bane was presented in Joel Shitmaker's franchise killing toy commercial. As a matter of fact, Joel Shitmaker lifted several ideas from the Animated Series, and used them to systematically bring the Batman down to the level of the Smurfs.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Volume Three has a phenomenal Poison Ivy episode. It is called House And Garden and its freakier than the freakiest twist on The Twilight Zone. Seriously, this shit is disturbed! God, I love it! I don't want to spoil anything for any of you who haven't seen this particular episode, but be warned: this one will make your skin crawl and you brain bleed. It really is that peculiar! Its another great episode written by Paul Dini. Poison Ivy at her very best!

Read My Lips is a FANTASTIC one! Scarface and The Ventriloquist seek retribution, and they receive bloody satisfaction. Honestly, a better Scarface story doesn't exist! What this show managed to do with second and third tier villains is extraordinary. They breathed new life into these damaged goods and brought them to the foreground with a vengeance. Seriously, who the hell even knew who the Clock King was before the Animated Series came around? Anyone? Didn't think so. Temple Fugate is now a name I will never forget.

All in all the Animated Series was the best thing to ever happen to a superhero. Glad it was Batman. Superman was given his own animated series as well soon after, and it was handled by the same creative forces behind Batman TAS. Superman The Animated Series is another wonderful television show I plan to explore with you in the near future. Actually, thus far, Superman TAS is the one good film representation of the character.

In closing, THANK GOD FOR BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES! My childhood would have been a nightmare without it!

Streeter Walker's Five Favorite Superhero Movies!

Number 5: BATMAN (1989)

This movie might be amazing to me because it is the first superhero movie that i remember watching, or maybe it's amazing to me because it is fucking awesome. What makes it awesome? Many things, first off Michael Keaton (the Multiplicity guy? fuck yes the Multiplicity guy, and how about Dream Team, and mother fucking Beetlejuice!!!!!!!!!!!) Keaton is an amazing BATMAN....ok a balding, almost 40, Bruce Wayne may not compare to Christian Bale or Val Kilmer, BUT I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT BRUCE WAYNE!!!! I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BAT!!! Now aside from an amazing performance by Michael Keaton, or Mikeaton as i call him in social settings. Let's take a look at The Joker himself, Jack "the sack" Nicholson!!! Some say "Heath Ledger stole the show when he did Joker" well, he did a good job, but the BATMAN Joker and the Dark Knight Joker, are two completely different characters and no one could have done that cartoony, crazy, silly, maniacle, twisted, crazy fuck like Nicholson. This is my favorite Tim Burton movie, before he got addicted to clay-mation and Johnny Depp's penis. Also Kim Basinger was the tits as Vicki Vale. And who can't forget Billy D as Harvey Dent?


Number 4: The Phantom (1996) The Phantom is a great movie because it is full of that campy awesomeness that has all but disapeared from movies based on comics. Billy Zane is a great Phantom and an amazing Kit Walker. Now we got an awesome Protagonist and a great story line, what more do we need to have an awesome superhero movie? A sexy love interest and a great villain that you love to hate. Love interest......KRISTY FUCKING SWANSON, Buffy the Vampire Slayer herself BOOOOM!!! ENOUGH SAID!!! Now we need a bad guy, Holy shit let's have the sly as fuck Treat Williams be Xander Drax and have him steal up the skulls of Touganda and encompass him with a big group of badasses for Billy Zane to fight. And let's not forget Catherine Zeta Jones as Sala the sexy bad girl who works for Drax....Also Ajax from Warriors, James Remar is in it playing a bad guy named Quill, One scene he pushes one of his goons out of a moving vehicle just to get a better shot at the unkillable Phantom!!!

Number 3: Superman II (1980) Christopher Reeve is an amazing Superman,the best, BUT I DON'T LIKE SUPERMAN, HE'S A BITCH!!! AND CLARK KENT IS A BITCH TOO!!! AND I'M PRETTY SURE THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON. OH WAIT, NVM, CLARK KENT WEARS GLASSES. But the story line of this movie is great and the Villains are Superb, putting this at the middle of my list. Superman chooses his love of Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) over his ability to help the human race from the likes of Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman). So he gives up his powers, BUT OH FUCK, HE ACCIDENTALLY RELEASES 3 SCARY KRYPTONIAN MOTHER FUCKERS FROM THE PHANTOM ZONE, WITH THAT NUCLEAR BOMB HE THREW INTO SPACE IN THE FIRST ONE, WHO COME TO EFF SOME ESS UP ON EARTH!!!!! Lex Luthor finds out about this and joins forces with them. Now shit will hit the damn fan. Gene Hackman is evil as shit in this movie. And the Kryptonians, Lead by General Zod (Terrance Stamp, who i always confuse with Malcolm McDowell) are the perfect team of Villains, The fearless leader who will stop at nothing to rule, the tough brut Non, and the sexy femme fatale Ursa. SO THIS MOVIE IS GREAT BECAUSE OF THE VILLAINS. i honestly could do without Superman, and that one scene where he rips the S off his chest and throws it at Non. i don't even know what the fuck that was about:

Number 2: The Toxic Avenger (1984) Troma broke the mold with this bubbley green skinned, mop carrying, eye popping, tutu wearing, death machine. Great story, a lame nerd gets teased by assholes until he runs away, only to fall out of a window into a vat of toxic waste. Then Melvin the Mop Boy tuns into a hideously disfigured superhero.....FUCK YES I'M WATCHING THIS. Now some people may look down on my mother for allowing me to watch this time and time again from the time i was like 5, BUT FUCK YOU!!!! MILDRED WALKER IS A FUCKING ANGEL AND AN AMAZING MOTHER!!!!!!. This movie is a great super hero movie for several reasons: 1, Toxie is relentless, none of that tying people up shit, if you are evil you will get your guts ripped out, or your head smashed by weights, it doesn't matter how you get killed but you will end up with a mop in your fucking face. 2, The villains are horrible, selling drugs, stealing, bullying kids until they jump out of windows into vats of toxic waste, beating old women to death, killing dogs, assraping blind chicks, and even driving around smashing kids heads with the back tire of your car. and 3, TITTAYS!!!!! THIS MOVIE IS FULL OF BOOBS, EIGHTIES BOOBS WITH TAN LINES!!!!!!.

Number 1: Xmen Origins: Wolverine (2009) Now people who read this and know me, will know that the main reason Wolverine is number 1 is because i fucking love Wolverine. They may say "oh that Street Walker, he thinks Wolverine is the best superhero of all time, he thinks Xmen are amazing, he loves Wolverine" WELL GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS, THEY WOULD BE CORRECT" Let me start by pointing out this movie's main flaw: Victor Creed (Sabretooth) is NOT NOT NOT Wolverine's Brother. With that being said Liev Schrieber is outstanding as Sabretooth. The perfect amount of crazy, hatred, jealousy, and badassary. Now Hugh Jackman is the perfect Wolverine, sure he is kind of skinny for Wolverine but good god he's awesome. Ryan Reynolds was good as Deadpool, before they were retards and took his mouth away. Lynn Collins was a horrible Silverfox, but maybe that's because they got the character completely wrong. But with the things they fucked up, they did one more thing that was awesome and that i've been waiting for since the first Xmen movie, they put Gambit on screen. And the guy who played him, Taylor Kitsch, Did a pretty good job. Sure he should have taken some voice lessons first but aside from that his attitude was perfect.

Thanks For Reading,
Streeter Walker

Batman On Film: The Burton Years (1989-1992) - Written By Zach Frances

BATMAN (1989)

This film is awesome. As a life-long fan of the Caped Crusader, I have to say that if you want the real Batman, look no further. You found him. While my favorite Bat-Flick is The Dark Knight Rises, I will explore that later. Right now, let's take a look at 1989.

There is a certain kind of magic to Batman that no other film adaptation has been able to successfully match. The main difference between Chris Nolan's more recent Dark Knight trilogy, and Burton's 1989 version, is the visual style. The main difference is a place they call Gotham City.

Tim Burton is known for many things, but above all else, it is his bizarre visual eye, a gift that works wonders in Batman. This film looks incredible! Burton creates a Gotham City that the viewer can get lost in. As opposed to Chris Nolan's outings, Tim Burton gives us a Gothic Fantasy of the highest order. Every visual element in this film is perfect; Gotham, the Batmobile, Joker, Batman himself, green ooze-- all of it. Nolan had a way of probing deep into the psyche of his characters, he seems to be a very psychological filmmaker, and he came to with fantastic results. Nolan was obviously interested in different aspects of the Dark Knight than what Tim Burton was drawn to. That makes for two very good and very different films. But the 1989 version reigns best of them all. Tim Burton gave us a work of Pop Art, a visual feast. A masterwork of the highest caliber. Tim Burton gave us a classic. Although his characters were not as moving as Nolan's would be, and the plot was not as complex as later adaptations would prove the Caped Crusader capable of, the film was pitch-perfect, ages incredibly well, and knows what it is. A comic book movie. And what does Tim Burton do with his comic book movie? He elevates the medium of film. Yes. I believe Batman changed the face of film, altered the practice of filmmaking, and raised the bar indefinitely. I have no doubt whatsoever that Batman is one of the finest Blockbusters ever assembled, and one of the best films of 80s American Cinema.

This movie means a lot to me, and a lot to my childhood. The older I get, the more important this film becomes. Something else happens too. It becomes enormous. Powerful. An event every time I sit down to watch it. Classic Good vs. Evil, rich design, completely unforgettable. I appreciate Nolan's films, I like all of them quite a lot, but when Tim Burton made Batman he had something to prove. This is the only film I can use as concrete evidence to provide support to my claim that Tim Burton is in fact a genius. Sadly, the amount of good films he has made are dwarfed in size by the fleet of stinkers he has produced. But Batman is undeniably the work of a very talented filmmaker.

I wish that Criterion could somehow get their paws on this one. I know its impossible, but one can't help but dream. The film is such a powerful experience, a tour de force from beginning to end; Burton's Magnum Opus. Batman is so very important to a film fanatic like me. This should be taught in film schools around the country. A highly analytical dose of entertainment, the way Burton visually tells the tale is to be admired and studied for its precise tenacity and bold audacity. Tim Burton's Batman is a one of a kind experience that deserves to go down in film history as a pillar of 80s cinema.

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

Tim Burton's first Batman picture was astonishing. I think of it as a glimmering masterwork of the 80s. He had a lot to live up to. Something's gotta give.

Batman Returns is not a worthy sequel to Batman, but it is still a decent flick.

Pros:

Danny DeVito as the Penguin - Perfect casting choice. Its not the Penguin I know from the books, but its the only Penguin I like. He is dark, menacing, sinister, and completely 'Burton'.

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman - Once again, wonderful casting choice. Sexy, dangerous, crazy, and seductive. Alas, completely 'Burton'.

Christopher Walken as Max Shreck - One of my favorite ingredients in Batman Returns has to be this character. A great and welcome addition to Batman lore, and I wish other die hard Batman fans could warm up to him some more. Also... completely 'Burton'.

Nostalgia - I watched this film a lot as a child. I can't help feeling like a kid whenever I put this on. And its a good enough film to put on once every couple of months.

Cons:

This Is A Tim Burton Movie, Not A Batman Movie - This was supposed to be a Batman movie. The 1989 version understood this. Don't get me wrong, a lot of what you see in Batman is 'Burton' to the core. But in 1989 he seemed much more inspired and much more interested in the source material. Batman Returns is not really a Batman film. The characters you see here are similar to their comic book origins in name only, everything else about them had been changed, EVERYTHING. Its almost sickening to see them take an intelligent character like Catwoman and zap some supernatural 'Burton' nonsense into her. I like what they decided to do with the Penguin. The Penguin is rather lackluster in the books, but here he is truly villainous. The Production Design, although very creative, was lousy. Gotham City from the 1989 version is a classic movie world, whereas Gotham in Returns doesn't actually look like anyone really lives there. This time Gotham looks like a set. It looks like the 'Burton' standard we're still seeing today.

Batman May Return, But That Doesn't Mean Anyone Else Will - Tim Burton's first Batman film was populated by interesting and engaging background players. Robert Wuhl as Knox for example, I thought Knox was absolutely great! Nope. No Knox in Batman Returns, even though they re-wrote the script so he could survive the first film, which seems pretty damn stupid if you're not planning on having him return for the sequel. Billy Dee Williams is another example of a solid background character from the first film that was written out of the second. This doesn't just go for background characters, mind you, Vicki Vale sat this one out as well. Where the first film had a background full of personality and liveliness, its sequel has dead background characters, lifeless scenery, and a well-earned bad rep.

Really, Its Not A Batman Movie - I love Batman. I also love Michael Keaton as Batman. And in a film called Batman Returns, you'd think we'd probably see him a lot, right? Wrong. Batman was demoted to a supporting character in his own feature! He is completely underused here, and seems terribly unimportant.

Penguins - Exploding Penguin Assassins... need I say more?

But still, all the negative things I can say about the movie aside, its still pretty awesome, and I do like it. It is essential viewing to anyone who enjoys the now-burgeoning Superhero genre, and to the few but devoted 90s film fans. But I really have to recommend it to fans of Tim Burton the most. If you like Tim Burton, you'll like this movie. If you like Batman, you might be disappointed. But don't be too harsh on this film. It works on an entertaining level through and through, ages considerably well, and gives us a darker version of the Caped Crusader. Its also NOT Batman Forever.