Thermal Vision And Invisibility - Written By Streeter (Street) Walker

In 1985 a little joke was told. This joke was that Rocky Balboa (Silvester Stallone) had beaten so many earthly opponents that he would have to fight an alien in Rocky 5. Jim and John Thomas thought this was a great concept for a movie...but who better than Rocky Balboa? How about Conan the Barbarian himself ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER? BRILLIANT FUCKING IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Manliest High-Five Ever

Now originally it was just going to be Arnold or his movie name DUTCH fighting in a jungle against an alien...Schwarzenegger didn't like this idea. So they added a team of commandos to fight along his side.

AND HOW ABOUT THE BEST TEAM OF COMMANDOS YOU COULD ASK FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!

SCHWARZENEGGER (DUTCH): Typical Action Hero, Smart when it comes to surviving, great with any weapons, and not afraid to let loose with the wize cracks (STICK AROUND)

CARL WEATHERS (DILLON): A BADASS, but he's lost his knack for the commando lifestyle. Now he's completely controlled by his office job. A puppet of "The Man" he will put his whole team in jeopardy just to do what he's told. "You're an asset. An expendable asset. And I used you to get the job done, got it?"

Bill Duke (Mac): Crazy eyes, and a quiet demeanor....sometimes. Willing to take you out if it means you will get him and his men killed "You're ghostin' us, motherfucker. I don't care who you are back in the world, you give away our position one more time, I'll bleed ya, real quiet. Leave ya here. Got that?"

Jesse "The Body" Ventura (Blain): IT'S JESSE THE FUCKING BODY VENTURA WITH A GOD DAMN GATLIN GUN!!!!!!!!!!!! "I AINT GOT TIME TO BLEED"

Sonny Landham (Billy): Awesome Indian tracker. He knows of the Predator's presence before anyone else. He senses him with his unique tracking abilities. Maybe that's whats got Billy so spooked. "There's something out there waiting for us, and it ain't no man. We're all gonna die."

and last but not least Richard Chaves (Poncho): Very useful to the group. Shit they are in South America and he seems to be the only one who knows a lick of Spanish. Kind of a smart ass, and like the others doesn't appreciate Dillon's lying ass being there. "Maybe you better put her on a leash, Agent-man."

FACE IT, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE FIGHTING AGAINST ANY OF THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!

Now we need a lady, cause every movie has atleast one. Except for maybe 28 Dicks Later. That's a reimagining of the famous outbreak flick...but the outbreak is butt stuff. So we get Elpidia Carrillo, She's perfect for this movie. She is pretty, and a damsel in distress. But she isn't so hot that she distracts you from the Badassary that is PREDATOR.

Enough about the good guys. YOU GUYS KNOW I FUCKING LOVE A VILLAIN. PREDATOR IS ONE OF THE BEST VILLAINS EVER. He doesn't kill for vengeance, or anger, or money, and he's not like the joker, wanting to see the world burn....HE DOES IT FOR SPORT. BECAUSE IT'S FUN!!!

And let's look at that fucking tech he has. Sure they have big knives, gatling guns, shotguns, rifles, and machine guns.....HOW ABOUT A FUCKING PLASMA CANNON WITH SIGHTS THAT LOCK ON. wanna get close and personal? BLADES SHARPER THAN THE DEVILS DICK LOCATED ON HIS WRIST SKINNING MOTHERFUCKERS AND HANGING THEM FROM TREES AND SHIT. and it's hard to shoot what you can't see. MOTHER FUCKER HAS A CLOAKING DEVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and while you can't see him, be sure as shit he can see you. THERMAL VISION BITCH!!!!!!



Now enough of the cast, and this will be over soon i promise. The movie starts out, with a group of badasses set up by a government that doesn't give a shit about them. honestly, if it were just a movie about special ops soldiers sent to get some pow's and finding out they were sent to get some info to cover up some bullshit, it would be a good movie. BUT THEN IT TURNS INTO A FACEFUCK OF ACTION AND CRAZINESS AS EACH ONE OF THEM IS SLOWLY PICKED OFF ONE AT A TIME BY THIS UNSTOPPABLE CREATURE.........................HOLY FUCK I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!

Now is the showdown. We know it's coming. and it's finally here. Commando vs Alien. My favorite thing about this movie is that Dutch turns Predator's strengths against him. Realizing that the creature sees with thermal vision he cleverly covers himself in mud. Setting up traps to surprise the one who has been sneaking this whole time. There is a metamorphisis from Prey to Predator, and Predator to Prey. In a way, the Title is just as much about the alien as it is about Schwarzenegger. Near the end, under the moonlight, Dutch even looks similar to the Predator. It's the transition that i think makes the movie so compelling. He doesn't win with a lucky shot, he doesn't win with brut strength, he wins because he is the better hunter. PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

The last thing i love about PREDATOR, is that it shows how much of a pussy Jean Claude Van Damme is. "He's not in that movie Streeter!!!" I KNOW ASS CLOWN!!!!!!! GIVE ME ONE MORE MINUTE TO MAKE MY POINT!!!.

Pussy.

So originally the Predator was supposed to be played by Van Damme (OVERRATED ASSHOLE IF YOU ASK ME......KICKBOXER AND BLOODSPORT WERE THE SHIT THOUGH) It was a great comparison. Skill and Agility VS. Brute Strength. which i think would have been awesome. But i like the the predator was a BRICK FUCKING SHIT HOUSE. Anyway, Van Damme complained constantly that he didn't get any screen time "Nobody will see my face BOO HOO" and face it, compared to the likes of Ventura, Weathers, and Schwarzenegger...Van Damme's body type isn't really scary. Also Jone Claudia Van Dick complained that the "suit is too hot" and he kept passing out. I'M SORRY BUT IF THAT LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER CAN'T TAKE IT, THAN HOW THE FUCK DID SOMEONE 3 TIMES HIS SIZE HANDLE IT? Cause Jean Claude Van Damme is a Pussy and Kevin Peter Hall isn't. MOTHER FUCKER WAS HARRY, FROM HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS. AND THAT MOVIE IS THE BEES KNEES



Thank you for reading.
Streeter Walker