Showing posts with label 80s Cinema. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 80s Cinema. Show all posts

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Licence Revoked or: Timothy Dalton's Bond - Written By Zach Frances

Franz Sanchez: You could have had everything.

James Bond: Don't you want to know why?

Timothy Dalton's run as James Bond was very short-lived. In this article, I am going to explore why. Dalton starred in two films as Bond, The Living Daylights and Licence To Kill, and subsequently stepped down from the role of 007. The fans never seemed to recognize Dalton as Moore's successor, and to this day, most can't seem to appreciate what he did for the series. Why? The answer is quite simple. Dalton's Bond was relatable, human, and susceptible. James Bond was always an idea, a comic concept, and a fantasy. Dalton's Bond was a human being, all the while he still retained all of the charisma and likability that had carried the character up to that point. But giving Bond a human feel would be Dalton's undoing.

Dalton's Bond was ruled by his emotions, this point is made abundantly clear in Licence To Kill where Bond's emotions lead him to ruin time and time again. The problem most fans have with Licence To Kill are in part some of the reasons why I like it so much. The film was criticized for not feeling like a true Bond picture, but more like a renegade cop movie that would have been quite commonplace in the late eighties. But that brings up a very interesting concept. A renegade by definition is a deserter, someone who rejects lawful or conventional behavior. Before Licence To Kill, Bond had been well-established as a symbol of efficient and heroic militarism, a cog in the machine of a government that was always morally and ethically absolute. Essentially, James Bond was the poster boy for covert militarism at work. In Licence To Kill, Dalton's Bond does the unthinkable when he disobeys a direct order from MI6 and disregards the fact that his licence to kill has been revoked by the very agency that issued it.

Dalton's Bond feels that an injustice has been done, an injustice not recognized by MI6, and promotes himself from secret agent to judge, juror, and executioner. He deserts his government in pursuit of a greater institution. James Bond pursues revenge and receives bloody satisfaction. You see, its one thing to say that Licence To Kill feels more like a renegade cop movie than a Bond picture, but its another to blatantly overlook the implications that becoming a renegade had on a character like James Bond. This is Bond without his gadgets, without back-up, without a lifeline to MI6, and this is Bond without a country. Bond is not fighting for national pride here nor is he risking his life to save the world from nuclear catastrophe. He is out to seek revenge for one lost life. He is emotional, overwrought, and cracks in his facade are clearly visible throughout the film. This time its personal. People don't like it when James Bond gets personal, or at least they weren't too keen to it in 1989.

Bond had always been able to separate himself from his work, something Dalton's Bond could never do. Even in The Living Daylights, everything was personal for Bond. Dalton's Bond was not afraid to allow himself to be emotionally affected, or as most fans and critics saw it, Dalton's Bond was incapable of completing a mission the way a 00 ought to. In fact, Dalton's replacement was one Pierce Brosnan, and Brosnan to me was nothing more than a bland continuation of Roger Moore's interpretation of the character. And in Brosnan's first bond movie, GoldenEye, he explains that his cold resolve is what keeps his alive. What Brosnan's Bond is basically saying here is that a real man has to learn to conceal his emotions rather than express them to anyone in any capacity. He's saying that a true man is not ruled by his emotions, but controls them from ever affecting his work, and he's saying that if a man does not do these things he will die, be rendered obsolete; replaced.  I consider that a direct attack on Dalton's previous run. But that's what fans wanted, if Bond were to be noticeably emotional or damaged then the fans would have to feel things. They wanted their Bond to have less depth than a comic book superhero. They wanted Bond to get the girl, kill the villain, save the world, and to never under any circumstances question his government or his methods.

In Licence To Kill, Dalton's Bond systematically defeats the villain, Franz Sanchez, in a way that could only be described as both obsessive and compulsive. He actually considers Franz Sanchez equally dangerous, and although he gets his little one-liners, he endures far more moments of doubt than most Bond fans are comfortable sharing with him. Dalton's Bond was not a superhero, but Dalton's Bond was revolutionary nonetheless. People like to call him the darker of the Bonds, and that is almost entirely untrue. He was the most human and passionate of them all, and there is absolutely nothing dark about being human and passionate. Bond fans seem to view emotion as heavy or adult. Well, I just think most Bond fans are delusional.

Daniel Craig's Bond seems to be getting far too much credit at the moment, especially in the character development department. If Dalton had been given the opportunity to make another Bond film, I feel as if the character would have developed much faster than he has. Dalton seemed to be pushing the character in an exciting and visceral direction, and Brosnan took the character a step backward. Now it is 2013 and James Bond has officially cried on film. Take a look back at Dalton's Bond, and try to tell me that sort of breakthrough wasn't long overdue.

In closing, I would just like to say how important Dalton's run was to the series. His films remain classics, cult or otherwise, and he is slowly getting recognition for the revolutionary way he handled the character. One of the biggest upsets in the entire Bond universe was the fact that Dalton was axed after only two films. Maybe Licence To Kill illustrated the emotional complexities that the character was capable of twenty years too soon on an audience that were simply not ready for a Bond they could actually touch.

Thanks For Reading!

-Zach Frances

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Thermal Vision And Invisibility - Written By Streeter (Street) Walker


In 1985 a little joke was told. This joke was that Rocky Balboa (Silvester Stallone) had beaten so many earthly opponents that he would have to fight an alien in Rocky 5. Jim and John Thomas thought this was a great concept for a movie...but who better than Rocky Balboa? How about Conan the Barbarian himself ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER? BRILLIANT FUCKING IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Manliest High-Five Ever

Now originally it was just going to be Arnold or his movie name DUTCH fighting in a jungle against an alien...Schwarzenegger didn't like this idea. So they added a team of commandos to fight along his side.

AND HOW ABOUT THE BEST TEAM OF COMMANDOS YOU COULD ASK FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!


SCHWARZENEGGER (DUTCH): Typical Action Hero, Smart when it comes to surviving, great with any weapons, and not afraid to let loose with the wize cracks (STICK AROUND)

CARL WEATHERS (DILLON): A BADASS, but he's lost his knack for the commando lifestyle. Now he's completely controlled by his office job. A puppet of "The Man" he will put his whole team in jeopardy just to do what he's told. "You're an asset. An expendable asset. And I used you to get the job done, got it?"

Bill Duke (Mac): Crazy eyes, and a quiet demeanor....sometimes. Willing to take you out if it means you will get him and his men killed "You're ghostin' us, motherfucker. I don't care who you are back in the world, you give away our position one more time, I'll bleed ya, real quiet. Leave ya here. Got that?"

Jesse "The Body" Ventura (Blain): IT'S JESSE THE FUCKING BODY VENTURA WITH A GOD DAMN GATLIN GUN!!!!!!!!!!!! "I AINT GOT TIME TO BLEED"

Sonny Landham (Billy): Awesome Indian tracker. He knows of the Predator's presence before anyone else. He senses him with his unique tracking abilities. Maybe that's whats got Billy so spooked. "There's something out there waiting for us, and it ain't no man. We're all gonna die."

and last but not least Richard Chaves (Poncho): Very useful to the group. Shit they are in South America and he seems to be the only one who knows a lick of Spanish. Kind of a smart ass, and like the others doesn't appreciate Dillon's lying ass being there. "Maybe you better put her on a leash, Agent-man."

FACE IT, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE FIGHTING AGAINST ANY OF THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!

Now we need a lady, cause every movie has atleast one. Except for maybe 28 Dicks Later. That's a reimagining of the famous outbreak flick...but the outbreak is butt stuff. So we get Elpidia Carrillo, She's perfect for this movie. She is pretty, and a damsel in distress. But she isn't so hot that she distracts you from the Badassary that is PREDATOR.

Enough about the good guys. YOU GUYS KNOW I FUCKING LOVE A VILLAIN. PREDATOR IS ONE OF THE BEST VILLAINS EVER. He doesn't kill for vengeance, or anger, or money, and he's not like the joker, wanting to see the world burn....HE DOES IT FOR SPORT. BECAUSE IT'S FUN!!!

And let's look at that fucking tech he has. Sure they have big knives, gatling guns, shotguns, rifles, and machine guns.....HOW ABOUT A FUCKING PLASMA CANNON WITH SIGHTS THAT LOCK ON. wanna get close and personal? BLADES SHARPER THAN THE DEVILS DICK LOCATED ON HIS WRIST SKINNING MOTHERFUCKERS AND HANGING THEM FROM TREES AND SHIT. and it's hard to shoot what you can't see. MOTHER FUCKER HAS A CLOAKING DEVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and while you can't see him, be sure as shit he can see you. THERMAL VISION BITCH!!!!!!



Now enough of the cast, and this will be over soon i promise. The movie starts out, with a group of badasses set up by a government that doesn't give a shit about them. honestly, if it were just a movie about special ops soldiers sent to get some pow's and finding out they were sent to get some info to cover up some bullshit, it would be a good movie. BUT THEN IT TURNS INTO A FACEFUCK OF ACTION AND CRAZINESS AS EACH ONE OF THEM IS SLOWLY PICKED OFF ONE AT A TIME BY THIS UNSTOPPABLE CREATURE.........................HOLY FUCK I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!

Now is the showdown. We know it's coming. and it's finally here. Commando vs Alien. My favorite thing about this movie is that Dutch turns Predator's strengths against him. Realizing that the creature sees with thermal vision he cleverly covers himself in mud. Setting up traps to surprise the one who has been sneaking this whole time. There is a metamorphisis from Prey to Predator, and Predator to Prey. In a way, the Title is just as much about the alien as it is about Schwarzenegger. Near the end, under the moonlight, Dutch even looks similar to the Predator. It's the transition that i think makes the movie so compelling. He doesn't win with a lucky shot, he doesn't win with brut strength, he wins because he is the better hunter. PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

The last thing i love about PREDATOR, is that it shows how much of a pussy Jean Claude Van Damme is. "He's not in that movie Streeter!!!" I KNOW ASS CLOWN!!!!!!! GIVE ME ONE MORE MINUTE TO MAKE MY POINT!!!.

Pussy.
So originally the Predator was supposed to be played by Van Damme (OVERRATED ASSHOLE IF YOU ASK ME......KICKBOXER AND BLOODSPORT WERE THE SHIT THOUGH) It was a great comparison. Skill and Agility VS. Brute Strength. which i think would have been awesome. But i like the the predator was a BRICK FUCKING SHIT HOUSE. Anyway, Van Damme complained constantly that he didn't get any screen time "Nobody will see my face BOO HOO" and face it, compared to the likes of Ventura, Weathers, and Schwarzenegger...Van Damme's body type isn't really scary. Also Jone Claudia Van Dick complained that the "suit is too hot" and he kept passing out. I'M SORRY BUT IF THAT LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER CAN'T TAKE IT, THAN HOW THE FUCK DID SOMEONE 3 TIMES HIS SIZE HANDLE IT? Cause Jean Claude Van Damme is a Pussy and Kevin Peter Hall isn't. MOTHER FUCKER WAS HARRY, FROM HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS. AND THAT MOVIE IS THE BEES KNEES



Thank you for reading.
Streeter Walker

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Streeter Walker's Five Favorite Superhero Movies!

Number 5: BATMAN (1989)

This movie might be amazing to me because it is the first superhero movie that i remember watching, or maybe it's amazing to me because it is fucking awesome. What makes it awesome? Many things, first off Michael Keaton (the Multiplicity guy? fuck yes the Multiplicity guy, and how about Dream Team, and mother fucking Beetlejuice!!!!!!!!!!!) Keaton is an amazing BATMAN....ok a balding, almost 40, Bruce Wayne may not compare to Christian Bale or Val Kilmer, BUT I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT BRUCE WAYNE!!!! I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BAT!!! Now aside from an amazing performance by Michael Keaton, or Mikeaton as i call him in social settings. Let's take a look at The Joker himself, Jack "the sack" Nicholson!!! Some say "Heath Ledger stole the show when he did Joker" well, he did a good job, but the BATMAN Joker and the Dark Knight Joker, are two completely different characters and no one could have done that cartoony, crazy, silly, maniacle, twisted, crazy fuck like Nicholson. This is my favorite Tim Burton movie, before he got addicted to clay-mation and Johnny Depp's penis. Also Kim Basinger was the tits as Vicki Vale. And who can't forget Billy D as Harvey Dent?


Number 4: The Phantom (1996) The Phantom is a great movie because it is full of that campy awesomeness that has all but disapeared from movies based on comics. Billy Zane is a great Phantom and an amazing Kit Walker. Now we got an awesome Protagonist and a great story line, what more do we need to have an awesome superhero movie? A sexy love interest and a great villain that you love to hate. Love interest......KRISTY FUCKING SWANSON, Buffy the Vampire Slayer herself BOOOOM!!! ENOUGH SAID!!! Now we need a bad guy, Holy shit let's have the sly as fuck Treat Williams be Xander Drax and have him steal up the skulls of Touganda and encompass him with a big group of badasses for Billy Zane to fight. And let's not forget Catherine Zeta Jones as Sala the sexy bad girl who works for Drax....Also Ajax from Warriors, James Remar is in it playing a bad guy named Quill, One scene he pushes one of his goons out of a moving vehicle just to get a better shot at the unkillable Phantom!!!


Number 3: Superman II (1980) Christopher Reeve is an amazing Superman,the best, BUT I DON'T LIKE SUPERMAN, HE'S A BITCH!!! AND CLARK KENT IS A BITCH TOO!!! AND I'M PRETTY SURE THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON. OH WAIT, NVM, CLARK KENT WEARS GLASSES. But the story line of this movie is great and the Villains are Superb, putting this at the middle of my list. Superman chooses his love of Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) over his ability to help the human race from the likes of Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman). So he gives up his powers, BUT OH FUCK, HE ACCIDENTALLY RELEASES 3 SCARY KRYPTONIAN MOTHER FUCKERS FROM THE PHANTOM ZONE, WITH THAT NUCLEAR BOMB HE THREW INTO SPACE IN THE FIRST ONE, WHO COME TO EFF SOME ESS UP ON EARTH!!!!! Lex Luthor finds out about this and joins forces with them. Now shit will hit the damn fan. Gene Hackman is evil as shit in this movie. And the Kryptonians, Lead by General Zod (Terrance Stamp, who i always confuse with Malcolm McDowell) are the perfect team of Villains, The fearless leader who will stop at nothing to rule, the tough brut Non, and the sexy femme fatale Ursa. SO THIS MOVIE IS GREAT BECAUSE OF THE VILLAINS. i honestly could do without Superman, and that one scene where he rips the S off his chest and throws it at Non. i don't even know what the fuck that was about:

Number 2: The Toxic Avenger (1984) Troma broke the mold with this bubbley green skinned, mop carrying, eye popping, tutu wearing, death machine. Great story, a lame nerd gets teased by assholes until he runs away, only to fall out of a window into a vat of toxic waste. Then Melvin the Mop Boy tuns into a hideously disfigured superhero.....FUCK YES I'M WATCHING THIS. Now some people may look down on my mother for allowing me to watch this time and time again from the time i was like 5, BUT FUCK YOU!!!! MILDRED WALKER IS A FUCKING ANGEL AND AN AMAZING MOTHER!!!!!!. This movie is a great super hero movie for several reasons: 1, Toxie is relentless, none of that tying people up shit, if you are evil you will get your guts ripped out, or your head smashed by weights, it doesn't matter how you get killed but you will end up with a mop in your fucking face. 2, The villains are horrible, selling drugs, stealing, bullying kids until they jump out of windows into vats of toxic waste, beating old women to death, killing dogs, assraping blind chicks, and even driving around smashing kids heads with the back tire of your car. and 3, TITTAYS!!!!! THIS MOVIE IS FULL OF BOOBS, EIGHTIES BOOBS WITH TAN LINES!!!!!!.



Number 1: Xmen Origins: Wolverine (2009) Now people who read this and know me, will know that the main reason Wolverine is number 1 is because i fucking love Wolverine. They may say "oh that Street Walker, he thinks Wolverine is the best superhero of all time, he thinks Xmen are amazing, he loves Wolverine" WELL GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS, THEY WOULD BE CORRECT" Let me start by pointing out this movie's main flaw: Victor Creed (Sabretooth) is NOT NOT NOT Wolverine's Brother. With that being said Liev Schrieber is outstanding as Sabretooth. The perfect amount of crazy, hatred, jealousy, and badassary. Now Hugh Jackman is the perfect Wolverine, sure he is kind of skinny for Wolverine but good god he's awesome. Ryan Reynolds was good as Deadpool, before they were retards and took his mouth away. Lynn Collins was a horrible Silverfox, but maybe that's because they got the character completely wrong. But with the things they fucked up, they did one more thing that was awesome and that i've been waiting for since the first Xmen movie, they put Gambit on screen. And the guy who played him, Taylor Kitsch, Did a pretty good job. Sure he should have taken some voice lessons first but aside from that his attitude was perfect.

Thanks For Reading,
Streeter Walker

Friday, January 4, 2013

Batman On Film: The Burton Years (1989-1992) - Written By Zach Frances


BATMAN (1989)

This film is awesome. As a life-long fan of the Caped Crusader, I have to say that if you want the real Batman, look no further. You found him. While my favorite Bat-Flick is The Dark Knight Rises, I will explore that later. Right now, let's take a look at 1989.

There is a certain kind of magic to Batman that no other film adaptation has been able to successfully match. The main difference between Chris Nolan's more recent Dark Knight trilogy, and Burton's 1989 version, is the visual style. The main difference is a place they call Gotham City.

Tim Burton is known for many things, but above all else, it is his bizarre visual eye, a gift that works wonders in Batman. This film looks incredible! Burton creates a Gotham City that the viewer can get lost in. As opposed to Chris Nolan's outings, Tim Burton gives us a Gothic Fantasy of the highest order. Every visual element in this film is perfect; Gotham, the Batmobile, Joker, Batman himself, green ooze-- all of it. Nolan had a way of probing deep into the psyche of his characters, he seems to be a very psychological filmmaker, and he came to with fantastic results. Nolan was obviously interested in different aspects of the Dark Knight than what Tim Burton was drawn to. That makes for two very good and very different films. But the 1989 version reigns best of them all. Tim Burton gave us a work of Pop Art, a visual feast. A masterwork of the highest caliber. Tim Burton gave us a classic. Although his characters were not as moving as Nolan's would be, and the plot was not as complex as later adaptations would prove the Caped Crusader capable of, the film was pitch-perfect, ages incredibly well, and knows what it is. A comic book movie. And what does Tim Burton do with his comic book movie? He elevates the medium of film. Yes. I believe Batman changed the face of film, altered the practice of filmmaking, and raised the bar indefinitely. I have no doubt whatsoever that Batman is one of the finest Blockbusters ever assembled, and one of the best films of 80s American Cinema.


This movie means a lot to me, and a lot to my childhood. The older I get, the more important this film becomes. Something else happens too. It becomes enormous. Powerful. An event every time I sit down to watch it. Classic Good vs. Evil, rich design, completely unforgettable. I appreciate Nolan's films, I like all of them quite a lot, but when Tim Burton made Batman he had something to prove. This is the only film I can use as concrete evidence to provide support to my claim that Tim Burton is in fact a genius. Sadly, the amount of good films he has made are dwarfed in size by the fleet of stinkers he has produced. But Batman is undeniably the work of a very talented filmmaker.

I wish that Criterion could somehow get their paws on this one. I know its impossible, but one can't help but dream. The film is such a powerful experience, a tour de force from beginning to end; Burton's Magnum Opus. Batman is so very important to a film fanatic like me. This should be taught in film schools around the country. A highly analytical dose of entertainment, the way Burton visually tells the tale is to be admired and studied for its precise tenacity and bold audacity. Tim Burton's Batman is a one of a kind experience that deserves to go down in film history as a pillar of 80s cinema.

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)


Tim Burton's first Batman picture was astonishing. I think of it as a glimmering masterwork of the 80s. He had a lot to live up to. Something's gotta give.

Batman Returns is not a worthy sequel to Batman, but it is still a decent flick.

Pros:

Danny DeVito as the Penguin - Perfect casting choice. Its not the Penguin I know from the books, but its the only Penguin I like. He is dark, menacing, sinister, and completely 'Burton'.

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman - Once again, wonderful casting choice. Sexy, dangerous, crazy, and seductive. Alas, completely 'Burton'.

Christopher Walken as Max Shreck - One of my favorite ingredients in Batman Returns has to be this character. A great and welcome addition to Batman lore, and I wish other die hard Batman fans could warm up to him some more. Also... completely 'Burton'.

Nostalgia - I watched this film a lot as a child. I can't help feeling like a kid whenever I put this on. And its a good enough film to put on once every couple of months.

Cons:

This Is A Tim Burton Movie, Not A Batman Movie - This was supposed to be a Batman movie. The 1989 version understood this. Don't get me wrong, a lot of what you see in Batman is 'Burton' to the core. But in 1989 he seemed much more inspired and much more interested in the source material. Batman Returns is not really a Batman film. The characters you see here are similar to their comic book origins in name only, everything else about them had been changed, EVERYTHING. Its almost sickening to see them take an intelligent character like Catwoman and zap some supernatural 'Burton' nonsense into her. I like what they decided to do with the Penguin. The Penguin is rather lackluster in the books, but here he is truly villainous. The Production Design, although very creative, was lousy. Gotham City from the 1989 version is a classic movie world, whereas Gotham in Returns doesn't actually look like anyone really lives there. This time Gotham looks like a set. It looks like the 'Burton' standard we're still seeing today.

Batman May Return, But That Doesn't Mean Anyone Else Will - Tim Burton's first Batman film was populated by interesting and engaging background players. Robert Wuhl as Knox for example, I thought Knox was absolutely great! Nope. No Knox in Batman Returns, even though they re-wrote the script so he could survive the first film, which seems pretty damn stupid if you're not planning on having him return for the sequel. Billy Dee Williams is another example of a solid background character from the first film that was written out of the second. This doesn't just go for background characters, mind you, Vicki Vale sat this one out as well. Where the first film had a background full of personality and liveliness, its sequel has dead background characters, lifeless scenery, and a well-earned bad rep.

Really, Its Not A Batman Movie - I love Batman. I also love Michael Keaton as Batman. And in a film called Batman Returns, you'd think we'd probably see him a lot, right? Wrong. Batman was demoted to a supporting character in his own feature! He is completely underused here, and seems terribly unimportant.

Penguins - Exploding Penguin Assassins... need I say more?

But still, all the negative things I can say about the movie aside, its still pretty awesome, and I do like it. It is essential viewing to anyone who enjoys the now-burgeoning Superhero genre, and to the few but devoted 90s film fans. But I really have to recommend it to fans of Tim Burton the most. If you like Tim Burton, you'll like this movie. If you like Batman, you might be disappointed. But don't be too harsh on this film. It works on an entertaining level through and through, ages considerably well, and gives us a darker version of the Caped Crusader. Its also NOT Batman Forever.